40 comments on “Suzuki33

  1. Sue In The Stew – Poem by Christina Sunrise

    In my “Stew” my “Stew of Goo” I will have control over you.
    Yes, I will control you with my evil spell,
    I will control this doll with named Mel.
    I will say things that are not NICE,
    you see I took your Power and I control the Dice!
    Everything is “neat” in this “Game of Deceit”
    This Game where I control everything.
    Yes, I took your power that you willfully gave to me,
    that was Deal, don’t you see? ? ?
    Don’t tell me you want your Power intact,
    You chose me as your mother! !
    So I can talk behind your back! !
    Now, now, you say “Why would I do that? ”
    You had to find yourself and get back on track…
    See how would you ever know who you really are.
    “Why, you think you came into this world complete like Sarah Star? ? ? ”
    You needed my “Evil” ways to make you strong,
    you can thank ME when I am long gone…
    Now, now you “Why would I do that? ”
    You had to find yourself and get back on track…
    See how would you ever know who you really are.
    “Why, you think you came into this world complete like Sarah Star? ? ? ”
    You needed my “Evil” ways to make you strong,
    you can thank ME when I am long gone…
    Now, now you realize it wasn’t about ME,
    why it was all about YOU,
    Yes you finding You—”YOU in the Stew”

    Written By Suzae Chevalier in 2006 & 2010

    • What a great poem. This has an interesting coincidence; I know a “Sarah Star” who is a coworker. I would consider this person a “new” incarnation based on Dolores Cannon’s definition.

      The last few lines being repeated on purpose is also funny in a really painful kind of way. What’s the point of life lessons if we don’t remember them the next time around?

  2. thank you for noticing this post!:) yes this poem resonates deeply within me but as I am the sue in it, I feel.. like a clueless child being totally TAUNTED at in a belitting sarcastic way..yet she..the ‘mother’ there cares… she cares in her own..probably also painful way from where she is………she sounds nasty,and a witch,and she took the girls powers…. and its the girls fault “you wilfully gave them”
    ………….”complete like Sarah Star.”..so Sarah Star is a complete being..not needing any help… the sue needs a lot of help she says……it is an interesting name! you know a real Sarah Star? it sounds celebrity/superwoman like in this poem…….
    relating to poems like this help me to not feel alone…
    its an astral conversation… .
    I am very sensitive today and very VERY “quiet” I have a dead silent stunned type of feeling today. I think its why I posted this poem. ive had it quite a long while,years…
    I like to collect lyrics and poems and fanfictions that I feel are TRUE astral communications wether the author themselves are even aware of it themselves or not…

    • Another reading of this line:

      “Why, you think you came into this world complete like Sarah Star? ? ? ”

      Is that Sarah Star THINKS she came into this world complete… but did she?

      And how does she define “complete”? How do we define “complete”?

      The Sarah Star I know is an interesting individual. She started life as “Star” and was adopted. She changed her name to “Sarah” or goes by Sarah. So these are both first names. She has a very hard time communicating in the “business” world, and causes all kinds of friction in the office, playing the blame game and insulting everyone in her line of fire. In her mind, IT is incompetent and needs to be replaced. And states things she knows nothing about to the “higher ups”, and then blames IT when things go wrong (and is constantly saying this to others). It would be amusing if it wasn’t so annoying. This is a person who does require a great deal of patience to deal with.

      On the contrary, “Sue” is ACTUALLY complete – knowing that there is more to it than what’s in front of us. This poem tells the story of self-discovery through adversity, and how those on this journey meet up with all kinds of trials. We compare ourselves (or are compared by others) to someone who seems popular or pretty or wealthy… but that’s really a poor measure of who we are.

      • wow! I have also met these kinds of people in the work place and at home.. and my patience actually ran out. I am older now.. and at the age where embitterment comes in too (hormones/lack of) and these people now push me over an edge I cannot return from. I haven’t found a way yet to deal. I simply cannot take any longer individuals that actually make my life worse. I removed myself from homes/relationships and even my job due to this. and even though it sounds AWFUL and it IS.. I feel I am in the RIGHT place. its a growing pain. its just that I must make my own place.
        I didn’t look at the poem that way,my problem in life has always been to feel toooooo deeply how its meant by the perspective of say the author (maybe not author but character there..that evil witch mother taking powers and even mentioning a sarah star that I never wanted to be like anyway)
        I get all offended and feel attacked that even such a feeling exists to even write the poem.
        im just too sensitive like that
        at the point where I don’t even want dying or useless ideas to even exist anymore so we can finally get on with life(not even in poems,songs.movies tv shows etc)
        for many they are settled.. they say “this is my life” (complete with loveless marriages shitty co workers etc)
        and me. I am crippled..for I cannot do that.
        it only hurts myself I know. but I cannot adjust.its painful.
        the four people who shaped my life were so hideously demented(abusive) that I am still now at age 41 failing to even see a point for living with them. 3 out of 4 I never spoke to again, one is my mom. we speak. but… I do not understand her. she created nothing but havoc… then pretends she didn’t. and gets coddled. she got a good deal. in her sense of what good is.. she won….. I see she feels that way..in mine.. I feel actual vomit like feelings in my stomache when I think of how happy and settled she is in a mess…..
        I guess what I cannot stand is arrogance and assuming that what you say could actually bother another person in your own point.. when actually the only thing that is bothersome is actually thinking the person youre talking to even cares. its like saying haha look at this what I have here and to them its shiny gold and you see terds literally.
        that’s a bible verse lol
        all the jewels and riches in the world are “counted as DUNG” for love”
        but I cannot wrap my mind around how these people exist and where did those wires cross that made them think that those who see turds… actually should even be listening to them? don’t they know??
        then I found people who DO know very well that everything they say and offer is crap to someone else and so they do it tauntingly and on purpose to antagonize you…
        im serious
        its blatant
        what pay off is there in actually knowing youre offending someone and making them squirm RIGHTLY? the thing I cant do… I cant offend. I cant make someone cry or hurt their moral soul …they do it on purpose. I am at the point that I must believe they are created for a different purpose…and even by a different god… cuz mine is so holy He wouldn’t and He hates games.
        I came up with all of this because this is about contrasting the two there sarah and sue.. but for me the focus is that witch mother who feels she has power… why not her own? it says she had to take it
        and even that she is helping sue get back on track when she already is …. its an audacity..and its what I deal with every single day from real life people
        theyre all offering me ……….what I hate.
        when they find that out they get worse.
        I will NEVER understand this.
        they get forceful and bullying when they find out I do not want what theyre offering.
        I wish I was exaggerating. but I must deal with this.
        its something I read in Bible too
        “for my love they gave me hate,for my friendship they became my enemies”
        has to be a reason…………I think David was complaining of a spell he was under.. a sorcery.
        he was complaining about it.. not being arrogant……I feel like he is saying hey what is this monstrous spell…. not “I am better than them”
        he expected better
        its so HURTFUL to me when people tell me all the time (and dr phil lol and everyone these days in mental health) that “expecting from people will only hurt you”
        its like… everything is now going in that direction…..putting all blame on yourself
        even for wanting something good and normal
        it comes from a good intention all that advice…
        but its a killer.
        “neglect will kill like a knife in your soul, oh it will ” a lyric.. written by someone who it happened to so WHY then do it to another? they seem to need what happened to them to happen to the one they feel is responsible.
        even though that would destroy their own life force and make them hypocrites.
        “you destroyed your land”

        • Yes exactly – the evil robot doll thing you’ve got going on there (on your website) gave me the willies!

          We’ve got some serious cognitive dissonance going on here in this world, and this is what the light is all about. I’ve seen the points of light across the planet and it looks a lot like when you’re in an aircraft at night, you look down and see the street lights. Well that’s us.

          This is also what is known as “Ragnarok” – the great battle going on right now. I have personally puzzled over these very things, and now I approach life like this: try to be good to people, and treat them well, because there may be other parts of their life that are horrible that they have to endure. And they will pass this good treatment along to others, in the same way that they might pass along ill treatment to others. Those who are “evil” – they have reasons for it. What you see is the end result… but you can also overcome this by treating them well, in spite of their ill treatment of you. Works like a charm!

          The trick is to put the old “ego reactive self-protection mechanism” in the back seat (ignore it) and this can be very hard to do! This is something I feel I haven’t mastered (but would like to eventually). ❤

          • hi, I just saw your reply after I just posted that new long one below (sorry I go on and on) I wish I was in a protective vantage point like that. I am jealous (in a good way!!!!! yay! I love it) I mean.. of what you are able to see, as far as us being lights
            some people on this site talk so astral.. that they have literally it seems to have been there,seen this and that..describe in full detail visions and actual things.. like even you saying “Ragnorak” speaking with sure knowledge I mean
            is soooo powerful.
            I do not have any such terms
            I grasp at human creations,poems lyrics movies etc and say these are from soul/astral and I address it
            I could make something up lol but I do not want to
            I want to say terms..names of actual beings and actual planets and places with certainty

            • Thank you – but remember that diversity is the god-seed. We are doing the same thing but in different ways. That is, there is no need to make anything up… we just describe what we see. (-_-)

              • in that case I may be free to say a lot …say what I see… true its not made up:) I just thought there were real places and terms such as” Ragnorak”… I wouldn’t infringe or intertwine my stuff into it I guess is what I mean……I am new sort of I feel.

                • Regarding Ragnarok: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ragnar%C3%B6k

                  You are free to say a lot! 🙂 Ragnarok is something from Norse mythology, a battle of light and darkness. Basically a “fan fiction” but there are layers of it that are considered prophetic/real. I’ve never read through the whole thing, but I see it as a story describing a “template” of something else. There may be other events in other times that might follow the same template – different names and places but the structure of it is the same. For all intents and purposes they are the same because they share the same underlying template.

                  You can tell if something’s real, even if it may seem made up, by that shiver you get down your lower back.

    • I can’t thank you even Susan for posting this poem of mine and taking the time to see the good in Sarah Star–yes in my life I have looked inside and saw why I was born to the mother (who now is an little old lady with the same piss and vinegar, but with a sense of humor)…to build strength and character in me and my character Sarah Star. This poem was written when I was going through emotional pain of having subconsciously chosen bad relationships and seeing how my mother had affected me.Since writing this poem I have finally grown through even more pain (physical and emotional) which made me re-examine my behavior of being “too nice” and now coming into my power finally to say I am worthy of respect and I am a valuable person that can be my best friend first in making wise, safe choices of who I let into my life. Now this character Sarah is my imaginary child I wish I could of raised. Sarah would change the ancestral programs and stop family dysfunctions. She is from another planet and galaxy–so you are right on with her super hero qualities. Sarah Star has a small website for now-she is a super hero in upcoming stories (novels)which I am writing and she will finally overcomes the “real ice-witch” to help her cousin Melodie Mezoree (who is my inner child) deprogram programs from her mother the “real ice-witch”. I also admire that you have found strength from my writing and took the time to give an interesting review of my poem. Please visit my website http://www.suzae.com for character websites, etc. and http://www.suzaechevalier.com for my personal poems.

      • the poem is now ten times more powerful and sending CHILLS through me right now in reading your comment and im smiling!! im so happy now!! thank YOU for being here!!!!! I am honored! this never happened to me before! :)!! the poem means so much to me and I also went through the SAME things as you! so please do keep creating Sarah Star!!! you will give birth to her! 🙂
        muah!
        thank youuuu

        • You are so very Welcome! Thank you for being here as well! I am very glad my poem has touched you so much and I’m glad it has helped you. I see it has a common thread of humanity running through it that people can relate too. I am glad that is has been appreciated by you and others. It helps to hear words of kindness from you and others in these posts. This blog keeps me going! Sarah is coming to life now as I write. She is the Super Hero that will help children of planet Earth. Thank you again Susan!!!

  3. not remember,doomed to repeat
    “for jersualem’s sake we will not forget”….
    I always thought that’s what they meant…
    bible says she will keep getting replayed,he even says ” I will make her forget”
    we finally got to the point of preferring a healing rather than forgetting…

  4. the mother there lost her ability to communicate with the sue/daughter (she says you chose me as your mother,but its clearly said as “you made a mistake in choosing me! .”) .and she may have even desperately needed it for “herself” but she doesn’t know WHO she is talking TO….
    in the bible and ancient religions(and in just common sense,human makeup) what is metaphored as “the land” is what people “live off of” but it says its destroyed. the land is personified in the old testament as a female.
    my reference above to hating being told id be disappointed by “expecting better” from people is the SAME as destroying a land 100%
    its the SAME as telling my plant here in my apartment that its only hurting itself by expecting me to water it
    it expects water..as a natural inbuilt code to LIVE and thrive
    and way too many humans now say love respect etc..are just options.. on the side,only lucky if you get them
    when you contrast this to the plants needs… many humans.. even the worst kind… do understand and see fit to watering the plant
    but if they watch people die before their eyes due to emotional abuse/neglect
    they refuse to even admit that they catch on
    THIS is what I don’t understand
    people EXPECT when they go to the grocery store, for milk to be in stock, if its not they are quite surprised,
    and why? because they have money?
    many such have become the ultimate in trashy existence
    they feel equal to another being by having the same if not more money in their pockets
    yet they cannot literally for the life of them,keep their own life source alive… thriving..
    they refuse
    this is a parasitic condition
    but I thought even a parasite wants to live
    they thought “the land” (in the bible that they destroyed/used up) had no thought of its own.. the bible is full of references that it has its own mind and life…
    “the land will vomit out its inhabitants”
    sounds like its sick….with… people!
    the land WANTS to survive….. its seeing two options before it.. destruction due to “inhabitants” or vomiting out and possibly salvaging itself so it can serve its true purpose…..
    “we never thought strangers could enter Zion”
    “never again will a stranger or anything that offends pass through the land”
    its a message of salvation… for the land…
    zion has become a haunt for jackals and demons and every unclean beast,when they pass through they say ew.. is THIS (sarcastic) the praise of all the world?”
    the whole message is that they are not worthy to live there
    but they never take warning and that’s the part I will never understand.
    “sound the warning in Zion, but they will not listen”
    “you struck them, but they felt no pain”
    “I” got the message loud and clear and am at my edge and at the point where I say “ok destroy them”

    “they are a burden for you to bear I will remove them from you”
    I wish “they” knew
    but like I said
    they were told
    and got worse on purpose.

    instead of thinking oh wow, we destroy ourselves and we can make it so much better lets do it!
    they say
    what? we are insulted!??? (and I mean very unsavory characters) well then ill do that activity even MORE and not keep it to myself but show and tell those who I know hate it
    that is unliveable

    its “rape” of the land, of wombs (to be born) of thought.. of soul… those are they who set up conditions where women have little choice
    and “must accept or else” what they want to do.

    ive seen women in full cohorts with it too.
    society will fall.
    just to expel them. there are that many.

  5. oh and by the way the exact words to the song/video I posted above “over” say this as well :)(but theyre wondering why they didn’t try this time which is what all my messages are also saying) they feel deceived even by not trying… set it up so NOTHING is their fault…. it IS interesting… but I require change
    not replays

    but I LIKE destruction and consider it beautiful to start over
    I always have
    another song that says this is
    tears for fears “break it down again”
    it says they never mention the beauty of decay
    I LOVE THAT SONG

  6. oops this one works,my mantra song. I hope everyone feels same when hear it. I feel like sun breaking through my spirit. its from “my time” though.. 80’s 90’s child… 🙂

  7. oh my goodness gracious lol, I was giggling when I read your comment in my email… sarcastic? I actually DO LOVE preppies hehehe
    this version ummmm
    im happy at all for the original… its flattery..they liked the song enough to re do it 🙂
    I do love some dark music though
    I do NOT consider this dark!!! tho..
    just
    ….
    don’t know the word….alternative grunge or something,what is it?? hehehe
    only reminding me of cookie monster and other sesame street characters that have to make their voice like a monster…
    remember Jane Child? she made that one hit wonder… “I don’t wanna fall in love”
    she made a really cool dark song..
    it was my song when i left my ex..
    still listening to whole thing 🙂 thanks!!

    • this is how it works – I did a very short clearing yesterday and something from my past comes up – you brought up… all that stuff you were saying previously about evil people is my experience with “preppies”. My school was fairly divided into different groups and I was always on the fringe. The preppies of my experience were completely bought into “The System” – they saw their destiny as business school and expensive cars and executive jobs. I was on the fringe because I just couldn’t relate to any of that. These guys looked down on anyone who wasn’t like them, didn’t wear the right brands, didn’t look a certain way. Drove me nuts. But I’m thankful I did have some folks on the fringe I could hang out with. At the end of the day I have no idea where these “preppies” ended up – maybe they’re digging ditches now; maybe they are executives making lives miserable for others. Where I am now is a very different place from where I was then – and I guess it ultimately helped me understand this kind of silly “conformist” behavior. So- thank you for helping me clear this forgotten episode.

      • executives and “retail” people. I don’t know which is worse.ive always had to work retail.. its an easy job to get when you need one quick.. but there are retail “types” they do not seem human to me lol.
        they have sqeaky voices and write you up for being 1 minute late and make you sign a paper about it… adult to adult that is humiliating and quite dastardly!! in fact I am now older than most so.. I just cant take it and I have refused to work retail again unless it is my own business. the things people do to feel power is beyond me. I am an always late kind of person, I stroll in to my job when I get there and I don’t want a word said about it. with my last two jobs I was able to get away with it for years…it started to even be seen as cute or that’s just Susan. they accepted me and all was well
        8 am start time means 8:30 lol
        9 means 9:45
        everyday

          • yea I remember when I told you about the gooberz book and said id ick a verse out for you and it said about being late… and it was fall/winter time something like that:) you said you ordered it?

            • Yes I did. It was a “collectible” edition being sold by goodwill in Philadelphia. It arrived and is a beautiful hard cover edition; slightly used but no writing in the book. It’s in really nice shape. It has a solid feeling of substance. This is a Book with a capital B!

              So now I just have to figure out how to prevent the crazy wife from re-selling it on ebay… because everything I have is clutter. Everything she has is a Project… Argh / Sigh.

              • open to any page and give me a verse/sentence/excerpt!!?? please plZZZZ purrty pleeeeeze :)? ive never had anyone do that for me and im always doing that for others! 🙂 I do it for others with Goobers and with the Zohar.

    • this is amazing, I swear to you, right at this very moment as I decided to check my email.. I was sitting here at my coffee table having a total flashback of the preppies at school. every bit of what you just said..the FEELINGS I had about them and the clothes and everything…… I might as well had just arrived from another planet. I didn’t feel my family fit in ,into the very affluent neighborhood,..as we were there “just getting by” as a teenager I felt ashamed, I look back and im damned proud of my family for struggling like that to bring us all up (5 of us kids) in that neighborhood! the ‘click’ girls all say together and snickered and whispered about me, in obvious ways.. with their green and white striped polo shirts (they didn’t know how ridiculous THEY looked!) while I was more progressive and proud wearing what NO ONE would.. ..when I did one year..for some reason..start to wear ALL of that clothes (I think my dad got a raise) all of them started talking to me!!!!! I still totally ignored them!!! I just liked the clothes (not polo shirts lol) then I did find my ultimate FRINGE friend!!!! yay!!! a girl who just moved from out of state..i jumped on her.. the “new girl” we became best friends right away..and it was SHE who made me feel really OK! she shaved her head so did I… we made our own clothes held together with safety pins and dyed our hair black (these days not a big deal, in those we were the ONLY ones!!!!!) she was into the alternative rock, me not so much but I sure loved her! and she loved me! I was into soul music lol she was “grunge” we were very popular with the guys:) not the preppy ones.
      ok so now.. on facebook… they are ALL my friends just by default….
      and yes you are right.. they are digging trenches.. they mellowed out and are “normal” people now lol with the exception of 2 that I see.. (ultimate preppiness still abounds!) I was JUST like(as I often do) playing a long movie of that time in my life when I read your email so Im sooooo happy that you shared this!!!! Thank you so much!!!! those teenage years are so ANGSTY !!! honestly preps TERRIFIED ME. I was a scared little shy teenager… until I met my Becky:) I truly changed and couldn’t care less then.. and before her I had a VERY BEST Friend for many years..but she WANTED to fit in and she was BEAUTIFUL and preppy LIKE but was never their friend………….maybe with one as I recall.. I think I was holding her back! they did NOT like me!!!! they looked at me everyday like I was a BUG.
      I started to eat in the bathroom at lunch time.
      lunch time!!! the mortifying school cafeterias so LOUD with everyone talking all at once ,not knowing what is being said and feeling so utterly alone.
      I am still not CLEARED of this experience BUT I am soo soooo GLAD to be ME in this!!! I had so much going for me
      it was them that made me feel so uncomfortable.
      im thankful I always had a few friends at all times. I was one of those with ONE really close friend and maybe 2-3 others I could hang out with but I mostly kept to myself anyway.. so itd be the ONE friend.. that id be so close to id see them every day after school.
      what a weird time.. but looking back on it.. im overall thankful. for my PERSPECTIVE ..and my place in that… I like it. even on angst ridden days.. who I was… . I should be proud.
      when I sign into facebook and a preppie who never really even talked to me.. makes a post , if i comment and like it (rarely) I find myself feeling the back then feelings of, I wonder what this person thinks of me.. “who is this Susan?” that quiet girl who never talked…? I dunno…..its sort of accepted on facebook to just by default friend your classmates… many of them are super friendly to me (genuine) now….mostly guys haha
      you don’t even know!! it was CATHARTIC like healing for me that the MOST POPULAR and handsome guy in school back then..whom I recall never so much as uttering a syllable to me.. talks to me all the time.. drew my portrait! as his first and posted it to facebook.. and asked me out!!!! it is silly but yes… it made me feel better!!!
      I didn’t go out with him I was considering it. he is now a down to earth guy.maybe he always was… I shouldn’t clump them ALL together.
      ~from the girl who ate in the bathroom

      • EXACTLY ((FISTBUMP)), especially “so glad to be me in all that” – and yeah I’m really proud of my folks too. I know things were harder than what they let on, but things were simpler then too. They did a great job. ❤

  8. VERSE 1]
    Well she never sees it comin’
    She never sees it goin’
    She lacks a certain point of view
    But something always pulls her through
    What she tries

    [VERSE 2]

    It’s a weapon deep inside
    No mortal could have contrived
    Suzi’s found a weapon
    And I don’t even think she tried

    Well you dress her up with passion
    She wears you like a fashion
    That changes with the style of clothes
    But passion sticks inside your throat
    Like a knife

    You thought you’d found the perfect rose
    You cut the stem but it still grows
    Suzi’s found a weapon
    And I don’t even think she knows

    [CHORUS]
    So if she catches your eye
    God help you
    You’ll have to run and die
    Not to love her

    Suzi found a weapon
    And I don’t even think she knows

    [BRIDGE]

    [Repeat VERSE 1]
    Repeat VERSE 2]

    [Repeat CHORUS]

    Yeah Suzi found a weapon
    And I don’t even think she tried
    Yeah Suzi found a weapon
    And I don’t even think she tried
    Hmmm, Suzi found a weapon
    And I don’t even think she tried.
    Randy vanwarmer

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