*SONG* I’m with You by Avril Lavigne
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1aFied2YYVg
The Circle of Light…
In the chair again. ‘I thought this part
Was over?’ I wondered, but before a thought
Could grip my mind…it began…
Before me, at the farthest reaches of the light
I could see the platforms, the faces of Brishan
And BR’Riel and the aquatic humanoid, fixated
Upon me…Stone-faced, their eyes intense and
So heavy…What was this?
Then Varence appeared, he strolled from the
Shadows to the very center of the circle of light
As if it were the simplest of things to do
Then he stopped and stared at me with that
Smile of his; it was unnerving. He folded his
Arms over his chest then nodded to Ceres.
Again, there she was sitting to my right…
Beautiful, elegant…yet somehow magically
Indestructible. She smiled at me plainly.
“Do not worry, just write as you
Normally do…everything will be fine.”
Those were luminous words! “Do not worry?”
I asked. This didn’t sound good at all.
Brishan nodded to Varence. “Ask him.”
“Ask me what?”
Varence’s expression was restless,
Irritated.
“And?” I asked.
“I told you in the weeks ahead,” Varence
Explained, “That your writings were going
To take their toll…That they would be
The hardest you have had to do so far.”
“Yeah.” I said, with a tone that insisted
He explain everything without more delays.
“There is something we need you to do.”
He said carefully.
“Yeah?” I moaned…
“We need to review some of the subjects
Experiences from the mission.” He finally
Said. “From your mind.”
“You keep referring to them as subjects,” I
Said as coldly as I could. “They were not that
To me.”
“The assembly needs this.” Ceres reluctantly agreed.
“And they need to hear it from your point of view,
Not Varence’s wordy, mechanical, riddle some
Perspective.”
“Thank you.” He sneered.
“Is this your way of punishing me again?”
I asked. “Why?”
“There are details paramount to the current—“
“Just stop tip-toeing around it.” I said.
“You’re going to do it anyway, so don’t
Play it as some kind request.”
Brishan broke the discord with his
Serious tone. “I apologize but we requested
This…Now please if you would…”
Varence locked eyes with mine and
It began…
September 10th 2001…
There was no choice…
Kathy…She was twenty four, still living at home
With her folks…still waiting for her life to take
On some magical path, for the dreams that resounded
Through her thoughts, days and nights to manifest
Into some kind of real form…
She had gotten up as usual, dressed to go to work
At Friendly’s…Her parents had already left for work…
The morning was heavy and grey…typical…
But the haunting feelings from the night before
Were especially strong…Something disturbing was
In the air, it made her feel sick and anxious.
She fought everything that morning, her routine,
Everything was off. But she couldn’t put her finger
On it.
Somehow through a blind, numbly driven sense of
What to do she went through the motions, got
Dressed, scarfed down a raw Pop-tart for breakfast,
Grabbed her purse and keys and headed for her
Car in the garage. The old blue compact Chevy
Sedan never appeared more ominous…She got in
The car, put the keys in the ignition and froze.
Life twisted and turned by some hazy vision…
The morning was not the morning, nothing was real.
Then suddenly smoke began rising from the hood
Of the car filling the garage…More and more
Of the thick vaporous puffs began to fill
The garage. What was happening?
She hadn’t turned the ignition yet? Smoke?
But the smells, the sounds…everywhere.
She was in the garage but wasn’t.
Smoke and more smoke. What was happening?
The sights and sounds, from something beyond.
She heard screams, explosions…The sense of
Intense panic. She could swear she saw people
Racing around the car through the smoke in
The garage. What was happening?
She closed her eyes and could only hear screams,
Rumbling…but it wasn’t thunder…
The smoke, it was everywhere now. She couldn’t
See. Her heart raced, she was terrified…
What on Earth was happening?
Had she lost her mind? Nothing like this had
Ever happened before.
She kept seeing people race by, the most frightened
Looks on their faces. She pinched her eyes shut
And prayed…What was this? Make it stop.
The roaring grew, the rumbling like thunder…
The thunders…but not from the sky, it was as
Though it came from everywhere, everything
Seemed to shake…Then it felt like the whole
Garage was about to collapse right on
Top of her car. In a frenzy of fear she managed
To pull herself together…jump out of the car
And bolt out of the garage…She raced to
The house, the back porch step thinking she had
To call for help, 911, her parents, someone…Then froze.
There was silence…morning sounds…birds, the
Wind…nothing.
She turned back to look at the garage. There was her
Car, the driver’s side door wide open. But the garage
Was completely normal? Where was the smoke?
The people? She blinked like crazy, her heart
Racing…What happened? What happened?
Had she lost her mind?
Her mind raced, thoughts spinning, spitting out
Words and phrases as she scowled at the scene.
Was it a dream? Had she lost her mind? Why
Had that happened? Something was going on. Something
Was very wrong. She imagined it? Was it imagination
Or something else? It made no sense! No sense at
All! The car was fine. The garage was fine. There
Were no people running around.
She took a step towards the garage, then another
And another, then froze and took a deep breath.
Think now! Why? What was going on? It
Had to mean something. Was it a vision, some
Kind of premonition? She had never had such
An experience before…so intense, vivid, real.
Then as if struck by a magical wall, the
Wind blew through her and she heard them…
The whispers of many voices on the wind calling
Her name… “Kathy, Kathy, Kathy…Wake up.
They’re talking to you.” But who?
Emotions pitched and frothed inside her, calling
Out to her senses, her sight and feelings. Feel it,
Don’t think, doubt or wonder, just feel it. Listen,
Don’t speak, feel.
And she did by her spirit’s command, gave in to
The feelings and not logical thinking to gain the
Path to understand what it was.
Time to stop the nonsense, to break—if only for
A little while the daily programming of what was,
To see what will be.
That’s how it comes, through shocked senses
Massively before it happens for real…The shock
And the pain are the triggers for the psychic
Eyes of the mind…Some know this, others
Pretend or mimic…But for those with the
Curse to feel it, it is absolutely terrifying.
The higher forces speak and the spirit feels it,
There’s no denying it. The more you fight it the
Worse it gets. Without notice, by the whim of
How fate seems it so you are drawn in and cannot
Get out.
To explain it to anyone, why then they call you
Crazy…But when the manifestation occurs and
The proof becomes reality…you scare those around
You to death!
She knew something was wrong and it scared her.
It scared her so bad, she couldn’t go to work.
She couldn’t call anyone to explain, they would
Think she was completely nuts!
But something was coming, something was about
To happen…and soon, very soon.
Her mind became crazed. “Knock, knock” would
He write one day… “Knock, knock, tick tock…”
Who are you, what are you? This voice in my
Mind telling me things…” She hovered,
Swaying back and forth in the mind holding her
Arms…She was freezing and it wasn’t even cold!
Kathy turned away from the garage and
Walked down the driveway in a daze. She was
Freaked out! And the words in her head just
Rumbled nonsense. “Knock, knock…tick tock…
Who am I? What is this? Who are you? Voices,
Eyes, ears and minds are listening to me
Somehow, some way…on a piece of paper! On
A computer screen! But not now, then…
Then…When? The future?” My God she
Felt totally crazy.
She reached the end of her driveway and
Turned…left or was it right? Down the
Sidewalk…walking, walking blind…Her eyes
Studying the neighborhood houses. Everything
Looked so completely normal. The few people
That were home, the cars in the driveway, the
Cars drove by. No one acted strange,
No one sensed anything unusual.
Still the voices filled her head as the wind
Blew and the trees rose above her like
Silent sentinels of time…immune to
Human rites of passage. “Knock, knock,
Tick tock…The Bell Tolls…The Thunders…
The Voices of the Stars…The Watchers…
Someone could hear everything she was
Thinking! People were reading her thoughts!”
She felt betrayed, a pawn to some big
Scheme, a character on a giant board game?
“They hear me! Someone is writing this all
Down and reading it, they think I’m nuts!”
She kept walking and walking. Where?
Who cares? She was crazy, right? Does
It matter? “Someone is writing this all down
And I look completely nuts! I’m walking
Down the street, I see the cars, my neighbors.
Look there’s Mr. Jones. Mr. Jones is home
Today…again…Probably spending the whole
Afternoon on his computer again looking at
Porn…HA! Write that down whoever you are.
Mr. Jones is looking at porn all day…And he
Thinks no one knows…He’s out of work,
Supposed to be job hunting but no he’s
Looking at porn…Mr. Jones. Mr. Jones how’s
That porn hunt working out for you for
Work, sir? Oh my God they will think I’ve
Lost my mind! Who is writing this down?”
Kathy kept walking and walking, trying not
To think. “Whose reading my mind? Are
They watching me too? I’m wearing my Friendly’s
Uniform for work, is that hot for you? Yeah,
I’m losing it.”
She kept walking and walking, just holding
Her arms. Until finally she came across the
Small park by the pond at the end of
Her street. “Perfect! Swing sets! I’ll just
Go sit there and swing and swing and talk
To you, whoever you are…I ate a Pop-tart
For breakfast this morning. Are you excited?
What is so fascinating about me that you
Have to write down what I’m thinking? I’m
No one special. I’m hallucinating. My garage
Just filled up with imaginary smoke. It’s
September 10, 2001…Does that mean
Anything special to you?”
Kathy walked over to the swing sets in the
Park and grabbed a comfortable seat and
Started to swing. “Did you write that
Down too? Yes, I’m 24 years old and I’m
In the park on a swing set…swinging…so
What? Knock, knock, tick tock…What
The hell is that, a board game? What does
It mean?”
She kept swinging and swinging and talking
To herself. Her senses lost to the ether…to
Time…dancing to the command of… “I know
You, I know you…Those dreams. I hear
You now. But it’s not you, not now…You’re
In another time? Can you talk to me? Can
You hear me? Will we ever meet? I’ve been
Waiting to meet you, talk to you. Why are
You writing this down? Whose reading it,
It feels like a lot of people? Why? What
Does it mean? Please tell me.”
She just kept swinging…watching the ducks
And geese and swans on the lake…The pigeons
That flew by… “You like the birds…Birdman.
What is important about September 10th
2001? Why won’t you tell me?”
“All those people reading…the eyes and ears…
The doughnut guy…All those coffees…computer
Screens…print outs…The girl making notes. You,
Reading this over dinner? Other countries? MY
God, why are so many people reading this? Who
Are you? Tell me!”
The hours just kept passing by as if by only
A few minutes…more rambling.
“How’s that tuna sandwich? Ice cream again?
What is it, hot there or something?”
She just kept swinging. “I can’t feel myself there.
I’m not where you are…What time is it? What’s
The date? Talk to me.”
Then morning became afternoon, and soon afternoon
Became evening. She had spent the whole day swinging
In the park! Only stopped a couple of times to
Use the public restroom and grab a generous
Drink at the fountain. “My God, you wrote
That down too, didn’t you? Yes, I had to
Use the bathroom. I’m sorry.”
The swings…She just kept swinging…fighting
To think words so they would not be written
Down. Then…suddenly Sean, her long time
High school boyfriend was there…walking up
To her…Pale and concerned looking.
“Kathy?” He asked carefully…walking up to her
Still in his mechanic’s uniform. “Everyone is
Looking for you…is everything OK?”
She slowed down to stop swinging. “Sean?”
He came up to her. “What are you doing here
In the park? Are you alright?”
She started to cry. “No, Sean…I’m not alright.
Something is coming and I have no idea what
It is or what to do.”
Time split…back again to the Circle of Light.
“What was that?” I asked.
Varence stood calm and well composed. “Kathy,
One of the subjects.” He winced, re-collected his words.
“I mean, one of your group…You have her memories.”
Suddenly the notebook seemed like something more,
A tool, a telecommunications device with pen
And paper. I could not think, only write. “What?”
Brishan, at the forefront of the blinding lit circle
Tapped his finger on his desk. He looked displeased.
“What is the meaning of this?” He then pointed
To me, but his eyes were fixed intensely on Varence. “What
Purpose are you addressing?”
Varence only smiled, very self assured. “An event
Significant among them. A date very commonly
Known to them as September 11th.”
Brishan turned to the aquatic humanoid as a
Raucous of overlapping voices filled the arena, voices
I could not see past the circle of light. Brishan
Stared wide around acknowledging the discord.
“What is the meaning of this?”
“I am demonstrating the subjects’ precognitive
Abilities to events, significant events.” Varence
Explained. “One beyond our own which we study.”
“And this event,” Brishan replied with a raised
Brow, “This date of September 11th
Would be?”
Varence turned to me, appearing now more and
More as a lawyer. “Prior to this date, four days
Before…You were painting…that painting was, do
You recall?”
“Smoke signals.” I told him. “I painted it in
Black and white. I remember because I had
Never painted in black and white before…I don’t
Know why…I just did it…There was a figure
Making a big X…amid clouds of smoke. I
Remember it scared me. I had no idea what it
Meant…I had to do it. I don’t know why.”
Varence turned to Brishan. “Precisely.
No idea. They acted upon their internal senses.
Kathy experienced precognitive hallucinations…
Bill received through his painting…the message…
And Jennifer, the other visionary…sensed the
Event in visions and messages…which overloaded
Her senses causing her undoing.”
“What??” I asked…but they ignored me.
“Interesting.” Brishan said. “What was this event?”
“Hidden factions within their world’s powers
Were planning somewhat of a coup.” Varence
Explained. “Rogue agents with incriminating
Data were about to expose secret plans to the
World…unaware of their government’s knowledge…
It was about to be a disclosure…but die hard
Watchful forces intercepted this with a terroristic
Disguised attack on key buildings to thwart this,
Thus triggering world wide panic. Many officials
Had no idea of this, nor did the citizens…and
It became a wide-scale event of fear…mind-controlled
Groups are used this way to control the population…
Through terroristic attacks prevent
Unwanted disclosure and prevent revolts
Among secret factions.”
“They were going to disclose agendas of
Non-human contact?” Brishan asked.
“Yes.” Varence answered.
“So what happened?” Brishan asked.
“The public was terrified by the tragic events,
The destruction and deaths.” Varence explained.
“No information was disclosed. Rebel factions
Were subdued…And the current system continued
With fearful compliance. Only echoes of
Conspiracies leaked out…and those were easily
Dismissed.”
“So what was the purpose of the subjects’
Precognitive experiences?” Brishan asked.
“That 2001 was not the turning point as per
Instructed…And became a warning of intimidation.”
Varence explained. “Lives were lost. Many
Agents, of non-terrestrial forces from the
Alliance, involved in the disclosure as well as
Subjects of ours were lost in these events…”
“So the mission was re-evaluated?” Brishan asked.
“It had to be.” Varence said.
“What is he talking about?” I had to ask Ceres.
She only nodded once firmly, kindly. “Just listen
And write, you will see.”
“How many were lost?” Brishan asked pointing
To me.
“Approximately…half.” Varence answered. “Many
Sensed the loss…and soon there after took
Their own lives…resuming the trauma study of
Their own…secret factions’ experiments on these
Individuals…the trigger effect.”
“But this one was observed more closely.” Brishan
Said referring to me.
“Yes, from the start.” Varence answered.
“Though not until the angelic being visited
Him and imparted his gift was the experiment
Seen as successful.”
“Did they make contact with the Angel?” Brishan
Asked, referring to the secret factions.
“No.” Varence assured him. “They did not.
They could not; and still cannot. However
Observation continues.”
Brishan was skeptical. “Are you so sure?”
“Allow me to show you.” Varence went on…
Then turned to me, his eyes intense…his
Pupils like psychic weapons prying open my mind.
“View screen commence view.” A giant
Television-theater-like screen appeared…
His words seemed like the conductor
Silently in my head as memories
Unfolded on the screen…from my point of view…
As if the screen were my eyes…
Remember, unlock the door…reveal…see it,
Show them…beyond words and telling, feel it.
The date…The Timing, by night…from the
Depths of sleep…TAKEN…Transported…
I’m walking down a hallway, white, cold…
No signs, no comforting decorations, just
A white hall, bright lights…I was being led
By a team, soldiers in black fatigues,
Lifeless-like with no expression. Were they
Human at all? Robotic-like in movements,
Strong built men…black, white…walking beside
Me a safe distance away. They were under
Strict orders, not to touch me, never touch me.
Just bring him here. That is all.
The date, the time…It was hard to think…
I felt drugged, but it wasn’t drugs…Some
Device they had blurred, disrupted free
Thought. A truth serum device?
They led me to a room…
Trying to think! The light in my head rendered their
Technology useless! HA!
They sat me down at a table…
I looked up. Across the room was another
Table…Everything felt
Fake, false—their alliance was a lie!
Then a tall, big, broad built black man
Came in…These were not the so-called men in black…
These were soldiers of the secret factions…
As I sat there, they began covering
The table with photos, still faces…pictures
Taken no doubt of the group I
Was in.
Shaken, confused, struggling for breath
I kept trying to sense details of
What was going on!
Then the questions started by the black man in charge.
“Do you recognize them?” He asked sharply.
“Do any of these people
Mean anything to you? Look at them, tell me!”
On and on the unending, merciless
Questions came without end. “Do I
Know them? Who are they? How do I
Know them?” They wouldn’t
Believe me, no matter what.
But I couldn’t answer them, not one
Thing about the people, or what they
Were looking for. HA! The light would
Not let me and I couldn’t fight it.
They were getting angrier, frustrated.
Sitting there staring at me…giving me these dirty looks.
As if that made a difference.
I have no idea how long this lasted, I was in a
Fog…But they kept staring at me…as I
Studied the pictures. Honestly, there were so
Many faces of numb-looking people I couldn’t
Recognize them…Maybe they had been photographed
Under duress, half asleep, I couldn’t tell…
None looked familiar, yet they all did…
I just kept staring at the pictures, and the
Men in black fatigues stared at me. It went nowhere.
And then things took a very different tone…
Asleep, awake…I couldn’t tell, but it was clearly
An interrogation…Me staring at these pictures…
The men waiting, staring…a stand off…
There was some kind of whispering among them…
Then a door on the opposite side of the room to the
Left opened and in walked 3…reptilian humanoids
In robes…No hair, their heads looked almost like
A dull cone shape, greenish-black scaly skin…red
Snake eyes. They were all the same height, around
6 feet tall. They were expressionless, their faces were
Like that of some monster movie, sort of human
But clearly not…Far too detailed looking to be
Make-up, and all three were identical…I had the
Strong sense by their forms that they were
Female. They immediately locked eyes with me,
To intimidate me I suppose…The soldiers were
NOT shocked by them at all, but would not
Look at them; out of respect or fear, unsure.
Then one of the reptilians spoke, a raspy, almost
Hissing voice… “Leave us,” she said to the men in
Black…It was CLEAR then they were female,
I could feel it…3 female reptilians, what?
The soldiers seemed to bow their heads, look
Away and left me alone with the 3 reptilians.
I was stunned, but somehow not afraid at
All…The drugged state I was in had no
Effect on me talking and they knew it…
Oh well. I just watched as the 3 of them
Seated themselves at the table across from
Me…and stared me down intensely.
Moments passed. I could hardly believe my
Eyes, they were sitting there out in the open.
No disguises, as if it were completely normal
Staring at me, studying me. And I in turn
Was studying them.
I didn’t care what they thought or sensed
Or whatever, if anything the longer they
Watched me the sharper my senses felt, and
The more awake I became and they knew it.
Finally, the one in the center put their hands
On the table and tilted her head at me,
Her chin slightly raised. “You are not
Talking.”
No kidding! “Should I?” I asked.
She pointed at the pictures, as if her presence, their
Presence should affect me? “Do you recognize
Any of these people…at all?”
I just stared at her, if anything felt annoyed.
“Speak!” She ordered. The three of them seemed
To act like a team staring me down. “You
Know them?”
“Do I?” I asked.
“You know who they are.” She said, her voice
Was awful, like nothing I can describe. A talking
Snake!
“I have no idea what you are talking about.
I don’t know these people.”
“You do know these people.” She insisted.
“I’ve never seen them before.” I was lying
Of course, I recognized a few…though they
Looked half asleep and drugged.
The reptilian woman looked at her companions
Then at me. “Why won’t you answer our
Questions?”
“What are you asking me for?” I said. “Don’t
You know?”
“You will answer.” She said.
“I will?” I was sarcastic, feeling wide awake.
“Your drug stuff is not working.”
Oh she grew mad, the one emotion they did
Express. “Who are they to you?”
“People in pictures.” I said. I pointed to one
Picture. “I recognize that one…I went to
High school with her. She works for the Department
Of Defense. You know that.”
I swear she hissed. “And the others?”
“People you abducted off the street?” I asked
Sarcastically.
“Who are they?” She asked again, those
Red eyes were horrible!
“I don’t know.” I said. “What do you want
Me to say?”
She looked at her companions…Moments passed.
Silence. They gave me these icy looks, but somehow
It just bounced right off of me. I have no idea
Where I found the nerve, I should have been
Scared out of my mind but I wasn’t…It was
Like something inside me took over I could not
Explain.
She nodded to the wall behind me…Then a
Soldier walked in…He was white in black fatigues,
Well built, buzz hair cut…No expression to his face.
She nodded at him…He withdrew his side
Arm and pointed the gun at my head and
Cocked it. “Now,” he said, “You know I can’t
Shoot you…but…I can shoot those you
Love, that you care about…while you…watch.
Don’t tell me there isn’t someone you care
About. Now tell me the information I require.
Do not play games with me.”
I felt the worst blind rage ever. I hated
Them. I hated this. But I had no voice to
Give them!
“Now tell me who are these people.” The
Reptilian woman asked, ordered again.
I met her eyes ferociously. I have no idea
How I did this without shaking. But I was mad.
I did not feel like myself at all. “I told you
That I only recognize my friend from high
School…right there.” I pointed. “I cannot
Tell you more. I couldn’t if I tried.”
Suddenly her red-slit eyes seemed to light up.
At last she understood…Their interrogation
Wasn’t working…couldn’t work because
I had no control to give…They had no
Control…Whatever was in my head put
There by the Angel would not allow it, no
Matter how I felt.
She nodded, then gestured for the soldier
To put his gun down and leave the room.
She seemed impressed, as did her companions.
They watched me in unison, every gesture
And blink they seemed to share…They
Were communicating somehow but I could not
Hear them.
Finally, she broke the silence. “There are
Only half of them there.”
“What?” I asked.
“In the pictures.” She said. “Of your people.
There are only half of them there.”
I thought for a second. “My friend from high school
Was never there!” I insisted.
“How do you know this?” She asked,
Intrigued. “How can you be sure?”
“I never saw her there.” I told them.
“She was in your group.” The reptilian woman
Said, almost pleased that they were finally
Getting something. “She was from the beginning.”
“Well, I never saw here THERE.” I was able
To say. “If she was in the group, I can
Tell you they never picked her. She never
Went…Or at least I can say, they are not
Interested in her.”
The reptilians looked intrigued. “How do you
Know this?”
“I just know.” I said. “She…was NOT…there.”
“What do they want with you?” She asked.
“I don’t know.”
“Has anything changed?” The reptilian asked.
I was confused. “What do you mean?”
“Since September 11th…” She spoke very
Carefully and slowly. “Since the deaths…
There were many more of you…” She
Watched me.
It felt as though a wall had hit me. I was
Completely blind to it before…I believed it a
Dream…all of it…Yet somehow, somewhere
Deep inside it was more…But NOW…suddenly
Her words woke something inside me…Flashes
Filled my mind…The dreams, the group…
Wild images raced through my mind…Children
In cages…injections. Groups of people in their
Pajamas half asleep standing in crowds…
Many groups…soldiers…auditoriums…A dark
Room a circle of light…a separate group…
Familiar faces all ages…and then the deaths…
Suicides…The red light in the sky at night…
I stared at my wrists…
“We know.” She said.
I could only stare back at her numb.
“You look surprised.” She was wickedly
Happy. “Yes we know your secrets…Their
Secrets…”
“You know…about the Angel?”
“Yes.” She said like a hiss. “What did he put
There?”
“I don’t know.” I said honestly; at least for
The moment.
A long drawn out pause…She seemed delighted?
Was evil and joy all they knew? She watched
Me close. “What does Jennifer’s death effect
Have on our time line?”
I swear my heart stopped beating. “What?”
“Jennifer’s death,” she said slowly. “How
Does it effect our timeline?”
“Jennifer?” My mind raced…The dreams
Weren’t dreams anymore! I started to panic.
“Jennifer…is real? The Jennifer from my
Book?”
She, the three of them watched me with
Surprise…confused. The entire moment turned.
“She’s real?” I shouted, I wanted to hit
The table. “She was?” I corrected…
Consenting to the fact of what she said…
“She’s dead?”
They would not answer.
“It’s all real, all of it?” I was desperate.
They only stared blankly, coldly…
“That book was based on dreams!” I told
Them. “Just dreams.” The entire world felt
Like it was made of glass and was shattering.
“How does it effect our timeline?” She asked
Me again
My insides were frozen. My mind wide awake.
Thoughts, feelings, senses collided like an
Internal war… “It isn’t good. That’s
All I can say.”
“Everything can be fixed.” She said coldly.
“You can’t FIX this.” I told her angrily.
She seemed to tense, breathe hard, then
The three of them got up and left the room,
Leaving me alone…And my entire world
Changed at that moment.
Then I was blinking. Once again sitting
In the circle of light…Brishan watching me,
Varence staring at me…and Ceres.
“This isn’t happening.” I could only
Say, write down…
Varence watched me carefully, his head half
Down… “You said that last time too.”
Brishan…The great Lion Man BR’Riel, the
Aquatic humanoid…all eyes beyond perception
Felt like a ton of weight on me… “I can’t
Feel anything.”
“You said that last time too.” Varence repeated.
Ceres grew increasingly aggravated as she
Watched them. “You know what’s going
To happen now.” She told them sternly.
“She died, she really died?” I asked them.
No one said anything.
“You keep asking me to do this,” I told
Them… “All these people…subjects? Kathy,
Bobby, that guy…Robert in Rio…Marco, Lily…
Jennifer…she killed herself.”
Varence stood straight but calm and kind.
“When she was 30…Not long after
September 11th…She lost all hope of her
Dreams…many did…It was a tidal wave
Of loss after that. No one intended for it
To progress that far…”
“But you didn’t stop it either.” I told them.
“We couldn’t.” Varence said. “You hadn’t
Opened the box yet…The bridge had not
Been made…And they were on to our
Contact with you and the others
In your group…so they began…killing
You off.”
My mind exploded.
“I told you in the weeks ahead I would
Ask you things I never have before.”
Varence said. “That it would be difficult.”
No comment…
Brishan looked to Ceres with heavy eyes…
Then to me… “The words you write are
Weighted now…This is, awful information
To process…For us all…But I want you
To know…And tell them in your writing,
To those that will listen…The timeline
Has begun to repair itself…some will not like
It…as the world will shake in ways it
Should have long ago…New doors will open
As a result. The loss you have experienced…
Please, I do not intent this to sound
Unkind or too harsh…but there will be
Compensation…particularly for those who
Walked this road with you…
“The world will change…Those clinging to
The old ways will suffer the most misfortune.
Embrace the present…Open the door to
Tomorrow with hope…Stop making those
Choices that bring pain…The good will come.
It will.”
Ceres stood. “I think that is enough
For now…”
Brishan nodded. “You all have my instructions…
If anyone should interfere in this process…
You know what to do…”
Varence nodded kindly. “Stop writing
Now…Please.”
Valiant
Source: http://www.rumormillnews.com/cgi-bin/forum.cgi?read=54320
Spirit Train Chronicles 
Wow!
“Strong built men…black, white…walking beside
Me a safe distance away. They were under
Strict orders, not to touch me, never touch me.
Just bring him here. That is all.”
They came looking for me in Raleigh, North Carolina… February 5, 2010. Said they were from a mission in Durham, tried to get me to get in the car and go with them. HA! Not dressed in those designer clothes and expensive gold embossed watches, not driving that black Lincoln Town Car…from the mission??? My ass! Started asking me all kinds of personal questions, which I ducked and dodged, fortunately, I had my children safely hidden away at the time. I had been “warned” at the bus station in Boston, Massachusetts to, “Avoid elevators, do not go anywhere with men in long black coats.” I thought to myself ‘The Men In Black? Why would they be interested in me?’ I’d never had E.T. or U.F.O. contact, that I knew of. I thought I was loosing my mind, but I LISTENED! When we arrived in Richmond, Virginia, the bus depot there was crawling with their low life Satanists, creep asking me where I was going…as if I would tell that scuz-bucket! I’d never been so scared in my entire life! My children and I gave ’em the slip. It bought us some time, but, yeah, they found us in Raleigh. We had an Ascended Master there looking after us…Enoch. He’s real folks. Doesn’t look a day over 50. A thin tall muscular black man, he walked right through my arm, twice on the bus on his way to the restroom. He got on the bus in New York City, followed us to Richmond…we must have given him the slip too. Lol! He found us five days later in Raleigh.
I certainly hope no one finds this offensive. Struck a deep chord within me…so many are “selling their souls”, out, and for what??? A paradigm that is rapidly crumbling and falling away. (symbolized by the swift movement of the horse in the video)
Hello! I’ve been on the sidelines for quite awhile. Today I think I’ll break through my self created ice, and share the passion welling up inside. If I don’t share, and show that I care, and get involved, I fear that I am missing my chance to be fully here, and fully alive. Valiant Bill, Varence Apollo and Ceres and family, all the rest coming to life through Valiant to us, and all of you too — have made a difference in my life. You all have helped reignite my passion and my curiosity. You all fuel an insatiable drive to learn from all perspectives, especially about the meaning and mysteries of life. I am grateful to have found you. Thank you Bill for your willingness to share of the spark of Creator inside of you! Years ago I did so much sharing, and I admit I got burned out, and overcome by judgment, both inner and outer. So I’ve been very quiet in cyberspace for about 2 1/2 years. Today seems to be a good time to stop wasting time, and get back into connecting with others. Especially this particular group. When I asked if I really should get involved and share, the *word* given (through stichomancy, a form of divination) was *couple* (syn. couple, pair, yoke). It seems like “to come together” is the right path to take. I look forward to the weekly posts by Valiant. The first post I saved was in February 2015, the one about the Tuatha Alien Artifacts Light Lines Mind Key. I’d been reading all the Knock Knock posts in RMN before then, but at some point I realized I had a need to save them. They were that compelling to me! So in the last year and a half I’ve been reading to try and get caught up on what was covered in the past, as well as paying rapt attention to new posts as they come out. hehe Yeah, I’m addicted. I read all your comments, and sometimes the comments are quite a trip of their own! I have to go to work now, but I wanted to break the ice, and say thank you to all of you here and in other dimensions looking on, for your light, love and interesting expressions! I’ll come back and share more, especially about the synchronicity. I was quite shocked to find the name Magdalena Morgalena mentioned, in your dream Suzanne! Years ago I heard Magdalena Alsetha as my “essence name”, when I quizzed my angel and spirit guide! And dreamwalker444, it astounded me to see your name, because I was given a name like yours when I saw a UFO cross the sky above me. I heard them tell me I was spiritwalker. I added the 444 in my online name. The 444 is another story of its own, it means with the angels, plus it’s my extension at work. I haven’t used the name spiritwalker444 in years. Time to revive and come alive again. Lots of love and appreciation to all of you! Thank you for being here. Love, Barb spiritwalker444
Welcome Barb – happy to have you here, and what a great intro!
Intreresting synchronicity! I thought 444 was a good explanation of why I was hearing so many songs on the radio that fit the situation perfectly – of course it’s “just” the angels messing with the radio… 😉
I like Doreen Virtue’s explanation of 444:
444 means that the angels are with you. It’s a comforting reminder from heaven, reassuring you that your prayers have been heard and answered, and that you are being helped, watched over, and protected by God’s angels.
444 stems from 3 which is the sign of The Holy Trinity, plus the angels . . . for 3 + 1 = 4.
Dear Barb, thanks for that share !
I really understand the “burnout” phase. Been there at some point (fall of 2013) after an overload of activity.
Yes, we tend to over judge ourselves as well.
Once that is cleaned up, (and this is my personal opinion, of course), we can become much “better” at what we do, and wish to achieve/participate in.
There is a fine line to walk between being and remaining humble, and not “downplaying” our potential.
Happy to read that you will be active in commenting here. This place needs a bit of a… re-boot … in the comment area 🙂 Fresh perspectives, hurray 🙂
Hugs to you ❤
It is nice to see you here Barb, I have also been quiet for around 2 years maybe longer as i came to terms with different aspects of my life. A lot of pushing and pulling as i slowly began to trust in me. I was drawn back here a few weeks ago to begin interacting again, i like you have been following the bell tolls series, then the Thunders arrived and i had to share thoughts and also share these messages on my site also as i have a sense this is urgent. I have seen ships high among the Stars that would flash color dart off out of sight again. It is funny when i was little i remember UFO vividly the ships, fear of the dark thinking my parents were switched out at night by beings that looked like them but i knew they were different. much of my childhood is a blur but i remember the shadows every where all the time calling my name. I am no longer scared of the dark or of the ships due to the dream meetings.
2 IS MY NUMBER…
THE TWIN TOWERS…THEY USED THE “ULTIMATE WEAPON”! WE CALL HIM…AHAU KIN! THE SERPENT WITH THE WHITE EYES??? WAS A SHE… APPOLYMI! THERE IS ONE WIFE OF AHUA STILL STANDING…YOU WANT ME??? COME AND GET ME…SWEETIE! I AM…THE BELOVED WOMAN… ARE YOU ANY MATCH FOR LA ULTIMA MADRE’ ???
“Carry your great books into the jungles. Place your histories deeply in caverns where none of these men can find them. Nor do you bring them back to the sunlight until the War-Cycle is over. For these bearded strangers are the children of War. They speak my precepts, but their ears do not listen. They have but one love and that is for weapons. Ever more horrible are these weapons, until they reach for the one which is ultimate. Should they use that, there will be no forgiveness in that vale where there is no turning. Using such a weapon to make man over, is reaching into the heavens for the Godhead. These things are not for man’s decision, nor should man presume to think for all things, and thus mock the Almighty. Woe to those who do not listen! There are lamps beyond that which you are burning; roads beyond this which you are treading; worlds beyond the one you are seeing. Be humble before the might of the Great Hand which guides the stars within their places. There are many lodges within my Father’s Kingdom for it is more vast than time, and more eternal.”
http://rexresearch.com/prophist/phf8usa.htm#PHF55
I CHALLENGE! 😀 😉
THERE HAS ALWAYS BEEN QUESTIONS AS TO WHY GOD PERMITS EVIL BELOW SHOULD ANSWER
The moral will creatures of the evolutionary worlds are always bothered with the unthinking question as to why the all-wise Creators permit evil and sin. They fail to comprehend that both are inevitable if the creature is to be truly free. The free will of evolving man or exquisite angel is not a mere philosophic concept, a symbolic ideal. Man’s ability to choose good or evil is a universe reality. This liberty to choose for oneself is an endowment of the Supreme Rulers, and they will not permit any being or group of beings to deprive a single personality in the wide universe of this divinely bestowed liberty — not even to satisfy such misguided and ignorant beings in the enjoyment of this misnamed personal liberty.
Although conscious and wholehearted identification with evil (sin) is the equivalent of nonexistence (annihilation), there must always intervene between the time of such personal identification with sin and the execution of the penalty — the automatic result of such a willful embrace of evil — a period of time of sufficient length to allow for such an adjudication of such an individual’s universe status as will prove entirely satisfactory to all related universe personalities, and which will be so fair and just as to win the approval of the sinner himself.
http://www.urantia.org/urantia-book-standardized/titles-papers
Sharing this! Thank you! Woo amazing
https://1320frequencyshift.wordpress.com/2016/08/17/the-prague-key-harmonic-revolution/
https://1320frequencyshift.wordpress.com/2016/08/19/crop-circle-time-magic-or-coincidence/
http://www.collective-evolution.com/2014/09/27/this-is-the-world-of-quantum-physics-nothing-is-solid-and-everything-is-energy/
A: Realizing one’s blindness and ignorance can be shattering but with the breaking of the shell of illusion and delusion, one can be born into the light!
Q: (L) I noticed you used the words “illusion” and “delusion”. What’s the difference between an illusion and a delusion, aside from our normal dictionary definitions?
A: Illusion is mostly self-generated; delusion is mostly induced from without. {A BEAUTIFUL MIND AND THE QUESTION REMAINS FROM WHO IT IS THAT CREATES THE ILLUSION} {THE ONE WITHIN AS IT PROJECTS IT OUTWARD} AS USUAL EVERYTHING IS A PARADOX AND VERY ENIGMATIC
Q: (L) So, if you create fantasies in your own head and believe in them, you’re living in an illusion. If you’re programmed to believe wrong things or induced into something by life circumstances or other people’s words or actions, that would be a delusion. Well, that’s a little bit different I think than the dictionary definition. It’s interesting to get their view of why they use different words. Anybody else have questions?
Q: (L) In other words, we can’t do anything about the rest of the world, but we can do it for ourselves.
(Galatea) Is that what that means?
A: Yes
Q: (L) Alright. I guess that’s it, so we will say…
A: Keep the project on track. There is more to come once the receivers are ready! Help is on the way!!!!!! Goodbye.
https://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php/topic,42494.msg668712.html#msg668712
Below video from experience is how the divine one within you or your angel within looks at each person as it sees “NO EVIL” but only the good.
Thank you for another … wave 🙂 This name feels more accurate for the posts 🙂 As so much happens before, during, and after each post. Yes, not all is “fun”, yes we get bumped and shoved around, buttons are pushed, emotions can run high.
But, the overall effect… after the heart/mind can (try to) grasp yet new insight… Amazing.
Oh, and Tribe, try and watch the video Stefman has shared up there. It’s fascinating, and goes beyond just explaining what happened on 9/11.
Happy and serene week-end to everyone ❤
Had to share this. It’s happening and is either hardly covered or downplayed. And that horrendous fire in So Cal. And so on… It’s really moving on planet Earth.
In defense…of our dreams. ❤
BELOW MUSIC VIDEO PERTAINS TO A PERSON THAT HAS VISIONS.
BEHIND THE MIRROR {EYES} THERE IS A SCREEN{AS IN FLAT SCREEN MONITOR}
thank u bill and lida =)
and of course the watchers and the ones involved =)
thanks i got lat night some confirmation in what i thought for quiet a while…
so this amazingly brave woman here is right as well 😉
https://vimeo.com/63810454
so maybe this clip shines some more light at the past… and maybe helps understanding what was abused that day… maybe her findings can in the end bring some justice to the ones that deserve it… and maybe shed light on the people and entities involved…
ps: i bet lida u find that clip some what interesting 😉
stefman….I liked this within the first 5 minutes. Will watch it all, once I have time later.
great dream Suzanne!! Bill and I are dreaming like crazy…every night. I will show yours to Bill!!
yours too Robin.
Thanks Lida. So much I could share, but it would just take too long, and too much out of me, to have to re-live it all over again. I understand how draining this has to be for Bill.
thank you =)
Thank you Lida. Can i ask what the name of the book is that Bill wrote please as i would like to read it. I know this may sound silly but it has been two years since i have heard the voices. One a Man One a woman, i remember the shadows that moved and could see sense i was being watched when i was younger. The dark shadow disappeared after i turned on it and the nightmares of old that repeated stopped. My mind will not remember those days prior, i know that the dreams i have hold messages as there is always something that syncronises anytime i write a post, hear a song that holds a message or something is spoken. I see that theme repeated everywhere just as the word Ghost showing up all week then Bills post is published. much love and blessings to you both as i know that the messages are going to be so much harder as time moves forward and time lines change and realign as they should be. Just know you are not alone, that there are many willing to give you strength as fear falls away and the power of this collective come together.
Suzanne, Bill’s book, is Higher Forces….it was published in December of 2000. you can find it at America Star Books. They are a print-on-demand publisher. Not a ‘self-publsh’ company. The author name is given as WJG, for William Jeffrey Griffith. (he wanted to distinguish himself from a lot of other ‘Griffiths’ out there….smile.) He spent 10 years putting his thoughts down, and another year finding a publisher. The sequel was ready within another year. I think it is safe to tell everyone now, that the sequel finally went to the publisher a couple of months ago. It just wasn’t time, until now! It will be coming out this fall, along with another ….a compilation of The Bell Tolls, the Varence and Ceres dialogues he posted. His first book is also being presented to Oprah’s book club for consideration. Cover artwork is his own…on all of them! So he is a busy guy right now. Glad his sister is helping with the typing of his posts now…my hands are really arthritic now with all the paperwork I’ve done…ha ha ha!
It is time for Bill’s messages to REALLY public now, don’t you think. Some will get it, a lot won’t. That’s how it goes though.
But we are ready for that.
So glad you asked!!
Lida
WOW!!! A celebration is needed and much congratulations for this news!
Lida, my mind was seriously blown and chills covered my body!! I’m so excited to read this past book and share his future publications. I’m so honored to have found you all.
Suzanne & Robin, thank you for sharing your experiences. Such amazing messages…I feel it.
Thanks for being so supportive, Mary, and to all of you. I am so excited about those two books. That is awesome Bill, and Lida! I think the world may finally be ready to hear this. 😀 ❤
Thank you Lida could not find the book until tonight and will order tomorrow cannot wait to read this. The pull is real to know the truth and yes it is time the world knew which is why i have reblogged all the Thunder posts because they are much easier for the general public to understand and contain what i feel is truth on so many levels. ❤ ❤
Best of luck to you and Bill, Lida – this is exciting news. From a public perspective, I hope it triggers lots of questions about our perceived reality – in a similar way to how stories like Star Trek played a role in shifting public perception. We NEED to keep asking those important questions on a national / global level. May you live long and prosper! 😀
Great link Stefman!
I wanted to post this just for you 😉 ❤
Reblogged this on No Love Lost in Translation..
I do not know if these dreams mean anything to you Bill but i was pulled to share here again these ones. For me they are filled with a sense of peace, that we are not alone, never have been never will be. My faith is strong because he has always been with me and has never left my side. Even when my time is up i know that his hand will guide me home. He watches over us is within us fills us with his light.
JULY 5, 2012 @ 1:34 AM
I have also put my dream from last night here so I can see if there are any that carry on from previous postings to help me find a continuity with the ships I am involved with and the crew I am working with. I had a very interesting time in Dream time last night.
There were five star ships around me last night it was like they were all talking at once cant hear myself think. wake with a head ache and the word discretion.
Sense I must remember something then star gate pops in told to write Magdalena Morgalena.
I see a man White hair in a white robe, collar of robe reminds me of the Chinese collar the v down the front has gold braided symbols.
A women saying she must remember, the man said give her time she will. I sense others around me in a circle Pleiadian’s ? Then I am told Words have power, can harm, but words also contain truth if spoken with love, with light guiding the manifestation upon the page.
I am in a room circular smooth walls white/silver very clean others in white robes.
The sentinel ? The sentinel yes where is it I know this racking my brain wandering in 3D then realize she is my tree. That is what I told my ex husband I call her when he saw me hug this tree and run my hands lovingly over her scars.
The women tells me the sentinel will help me remember she smiles and walks away. She has a fair complexion like alabaster, blond/golden hair. White robes also Morgan / Morain . end of dream.
This morning I thought to myself I did not dream. Then the word Freedom popped into my head and then this began to flow forth.
A man was sitting at a desk and got up so I went and sat down in the seat, in front of me was an I Pad which was showing real estate photos of rather flash homes. Then I became aware of a Man sitting beside me, he looked like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. I asked if he was here to look at real estate he said No I am unemployed. At this point I was aware of a women standing behind him with a kindly smile. Looking around the room I saw more desks with people sitting at them. They all looked to have the weight of the world on their shoulders so I asked the women were I was and she said It was a center for unemployed. I said to her this is all wrong. I stood up and said you do not have to do this the Government don’t care about you look, and I pointed to a women who was smiling broadly. I said this has to stop. Next I am in a large space like an indoor sports hall. Everyone is animated laughing and busy working, making posters, flyers and buttons, there is a sense of lightness and hope here. Suddenly a Man appears with a big grin, I got them big names are going to play. Next I am climbing over some rocks to get a good place to sit and one of the large rocks fall and I realize I am by the Ocean looking out toward a city thinking we could do the concert there but then realize this is devastated and chose else where. Everywhere I look the streets are deserted the town the city everyone has heard the call and stopped. FREEDOM has arrived.
I have the sense of being in Nature, I am with many amazing animals which I am able to communicate with. My job seems to be in the development of new species of Butterfly’s. For some reason Lyra comes to my mind not sure why but it is a strong feeling.
I also get Elvish around the forest glade where I am waiting for the chrysalis which are beginning to open revealing the beauty that lies within, these Butterfly’s have something to do with the new rain forests I am helping manifest on New Earth.
intense dreaming last night began with me sitting at an outdoor cafe, around me there were people confused and walking down the street. I had a camera that was foreign to me and was trying to take photos of the city. The city appeared old in appearance almost destroyed. In front of me were two very tall buildings there brickwork dull and old while around me there was destruction going on. I was trying to get a photo of a glassed building before it too was pulled to the ground. Someone comes up to me and tells me I cannot take photos and the camera breaks in my hand. Next I am in an area with buildings a community of buildings. I am outside with a group when 3 orange orbs fly over us and stop which I acknowledge and then fly off again. The curtains are drawn and we are collected together talking when I hear a sound like a tone from outside and open the curtain to see orange orbs, those of us there wave and say Hello. Suddenly another person enters handing me 2 pieces of paper that are torn. I look at them as others begin to arrive. I then tell them I have a list of names of people that are going to leave here. I begin reading off names and job descriptions these I cannot remember I feel for safety reasons. I do remember the last two items on the list first a three bedroom home and the plan of the land consisted of house which blended with the surrounds, very tall trees of many varieties and a large body of water I also saw a Dolphin here which put this near the ocean. The next was six units in a lovely building,orange orbs came and surrounded the named like a bubble and they were gone.
I can see the faces of a man and a women still clearly in my mind who were to do with the house and remember the women saying this is what we saw and smile.
Of those left behind some became frightened and thought the others had exploded as we were still here. I told them we would be fine that it will be time for others soon. When I received the list I was told further instructions would be like a whisper next to my ear which I would hear clearly.
Shift we are now looking through caves which tell stories of our past which those left are learning and coming to terms with, in one much has been undisturbed for many many years when a shout comes as dust comes up. I head out and drifting toward us are those who had left smiling and laughing they are hugged by the others. Then I see vans coming with signs on thinking to myself not here too it was a delivery service for fast food.
As I sat with a coffee going over this strange dream wondering what my role in it was I received you are the gate keepers allowing the light to shine the way for those coming to you.
Your dream is so amazing Suzanne. Thank you for sharing…I don’t seem to be dreaming anymore…only lucid dreams…flashes of peoples faces like photo negative images…in color though, not black and white…something to do with media brainwashing…that was all. Beautiful song!
Robin many of my dreams from 2000 seem to have something pertaining to these times. For some reason one will pop into my mind and i have to find it and share. My heart broke when i witnessed 9/11 from New Zealand in the early hours of the 12th at 6 am it felt like all doors shut fast. So many tears we were bought to our knees still painful. much love
Thanks for your reply, Suzanne. I am always somewhat amazed that it impacted the world, not just us here in the United States…but it was just so horrific. I literally fell to my knees crying in front of my young children who were too young to really comprehend what was happening. I remember, that starting on Sunday through Monday, just before the buildings went down, I had the worst pain in the back of my skull, neck and back. I was a church goer at the time. It just felt like I was being attacked by something “evil”. No amount of prayer or pain medicine would make it go away. Tuesday morning, when the towers fell, I woke up feeling just fine, like a weight had lifted. Then I heard what had happened. So strange. The other thing that happened after 9-11 was my dreams the next few nights. First dream: It was night. The top of a tower was sheared off. Terrible wind blowing. I was viewing down from above. A small white, bald man in black robes, he wasn’t human, looking up at me, raging and mocking and gloating, as if he were responsible. Second dream: Again, it is night. I’m with four men, we are a team. We are on the floor of a very large dome. At least three stories tall. The dome is covered with what appears to be fiberglass. There are steel (?) supports that the paneling is overlaid upon. Light is coming in, but it is like the light of city lights from outside the building. Almost dark. No lights on inside the building. We look up at a noise. Some things, they are some kind of aliens, insect-like or reptilian, crawling up inside the dome. We are there to hunt them down. Third dream: It is daylight. Very bright. In the desert. Looks like Nevada or maybe Utah, somewhere in the west. Looks like an old oil refinery or something of that nature. Again, I am with four men. There is a large hanger there. Our living quarters. We are mechanics, engineers. Part of some kind of clandestine operation. It wasn’t until after I viewed this post by VALIANT and the video link posted here by stefman, that I began to understand the connection to 9-11, and my dreams about E.T.’s, and “hunting” them down. I had other dreams in the following months about being with a small team and hopping trains, being on the run, part of some kind of “undergound railroad”.
So much I could say to this…I just can’t bare to re-live the pain, the fear, the loss. I had a dream back in 2003…I never understood it, until you told us about the accident that killed Kathy and Shawn.
Bill, I understand about Kathy…someone was writing down my words as I was talking…prophesying…in my kitchen. This happened in the Spring of 2012. I knew my home was “bugged” I as followed constantly. But it was more than just “people”…it was like someone was coming in from another dimension and they were watching me…like I was being studied or it was a movie or something. Everything was being recorded. I remember telling who-ever it was watching me up there to be sure to write it all down, because the end was coming and it would all be forgotten again.
Thanks VALIANT…I know I knew you, but I have no memories…only vague impressions. The video was great…loved the intro. 🙂