The secret I didn’t know I kept…
Do I look Autistic?
I know, maybe that’s in poor taste. Do I look Southern? Or chronically ill?
When we pass someone on the street, or reconnect with an old friend, how can we know what they’re going through, if they don’t tell us? Most of us know we need to tell people when there’s something going on, not wait for them to ask.
Still, it’s taken me that long to get around to this post, so my friends can know what’s been up with me.
I learned a few weeks ago that I’m on the Spectrum. Autism Spectrum Disorder, Level One. There’s something almost humorous about learning this at my age. It’s a long time to go around nearly clueless, 56 years.
Over the past few months, I’ve also learned I have Lupus, Candida, Leaky Gut, and a parasite (ew.) The first one, along with the Autism, is not…
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Spirit Train Chronicles 
Dear Leslee, I cannot help crying when reading your stories. Yes, as always, not only your talent, but courage, passion just ripple so !!! After having read your last posts, I’ve spoken to you in my mind so many times, however, my typing cannot keep up with my thoughts at all.
For cuting all in short at this moment (for I hope to be able to supplement more when being more available), it’s my questions to the present medecine, the attributions.
First, it’s about AUTISM. No, since my childhood, I’ve lebeled myself secretly having this inclination. However, growing up more and more, even now, the sense that I can make about it is…….it’s having to do with VIBRATION!!!
Undinable that when reading, speaking, listening to, only few of the ones can understand, resonate, even touch each other, even not only just enjoy that kind of exchange, but also expect more and more exchange with each other. However, when the mainstream mode of social life of majority is so diifferent from our true nature, our vibration, we cannot but just choose staying in the relative safe and peaceful or even pure zone in my own sense.
Having moved around the very different realms on earth, then I just realized spoken languages or cultural backgrounds are not necessarily the bridge which helps connecting the souls.
So, whatever the definition AUTISIM is, I finally take my nature of prefering staying alone or sometime just with the resonating/resonated friends. However, can you imagine, in our school life, the SOCIABILITY should be one item of the school report card. So for being a remarably GOOD student, how introvernt I’m, I just had to try making myself look like that kind, hence the MASK became something stout. You might have never imagined that in our culture, there are such things of the MODEs of GOOD PERSON [such as student, mother, police, etc…] I didn’t realize how rediculous it is til having gone abroad in the other semisphere. I should have never questioned about how could anyone be epxected to fit in any mode of person, aka copying that mode of behaviors or manners ???
In my childhoodI could never imagine there shall be one day like now that I can finally take this true nature of what I truly am and I cannot thank you more for this sharing, and underling that we just have to let go of the concern about what others see about us.
With regards to the illness, no…….why the most of beloved ones suffer so??? Owing to some kind of invisible attacks?!!!
Here, thanks to Ben Naga too for this warm reply. All are rippling in my mind and heart. Honestly, I didn’t think I can leave words now til this video/music which just triggered something in me.
So, about your question, what I see from this lovely photo is AN ILLUMINATING, CHARMING, MAGICAL EARTHLY ANGEL that the last thing I can assoicate with in my thinking is autism. We all know what the EARTH and the BEINGS on her have been suffered from and the AUTHENTIC CAUSEs. That’s why the SAINTS aka MARTYRS. How much I hope that we are really making it, aligning with the HAPPY TIMELINES, being able to make, witness and testify the NEW HAPPY EARTH where most the beings help & benefit from each other!!!
Pls take, all the beloved brave beautiful ones !!!
Always good to hear from you. I never fit(ted) in either and still (at 70) haven’t discovered or been offered any neat diagnosis on which to hang my perceptions. Lupus sounds the worst of your recent discoveries. I say this from by experiences with a friend with that diagnosis. I have a great (IMHO) children’s book (although its message is appropriate for “grown-ups” too) that just needs illustrating and then of course publishing. It’s about the illusions ego has about itself so with you dharma background I’m sure you will “get” and appreciate it.