Writing — Because I Can

Coming out of my 2020 cocoon to share what’s been going on with me. Wishing everyone peace and happiness!

leslee hare

desk-with-laptop-and-draft notes

July 2020 will ring in my memory for a while. Not because of COVID-19, protests, elections, or wildfires. On July 7, a video chat announced that I’d lost my job.

For the third time in four years, unemployed. My inner liberty bell rang — time to quit trying.

The job-loss showed me how deeply Autism* and my concussions** had eaten into my ability to ‘play architecture’ in a traditional setting. The anxiety and PTSD, accumulated across four decades of laboring in a field I not-so-secretly despised, overwhelmed me. Exhaustion had eaten my free time; depression stalled my creativity. And I needed to learn why my body experienced crippling pain.

With decisions to make and resilience shredded, I froze. Gaming, Mexican food, ice cream, and whisky kept me distracted until I admitted it: I didn’t care whether I lived or died.

Since my early twenties (that’s 30-plus years), I’ve dealt with…

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