It’s tough living here
Concealment and masquerade
Sap my energy
Among “friends and family”
Mobiles don’t let you phone home


  1. I find the idea of thetans intrigueing and familiar,interesting,important… I do feel they live…as usual I always have a bleeding heart first response… like oh they need help and are misunderstood… obviously, in scientology it reads like they are unwanted strays,clearly in need of a home? but the disembodied concept and calling them your own unwanted thoughts is not setting right with me yet…

  2. Susan, I’m replying as a new comment. Things were getting a bit squashed. Some, practices, exercises and programmes in Scientology are helpful and liberating but others are suppressive and controlling.

  3. : ) I have had and still have gut wrenching pain of separation in my stomache along with nausea simultaneous with a cruel rejection from a stranger I didn’t want anyway,who has stood in place unsuccessfully as my ‘parents’ and failed and blames me… many feel that way. its awful,rejection goes both ways and needs to,… need to be with right ones… and it taught me the lessons…. I needed but I rebelled stubbornly by saying but I LOVED my parents and never wanted to go… it was an astral exile.. that happened in the other place while I was still at home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    and ive had to deal with the cruel intent… not imagining.. I mean said to my face as cruel intent… and also non and never repenting which is where I got stuck… I thought that was impossible… to never be sorry… .. I found a verse that says to daughter zion “it will seem as though im attacking you as a cruel enemy,youll understand later” and I rebel against that verse….. he bought time… it says he was wrong.. she takes the abuse.. then later he says oh sorry………its not really sitting right with me… I will make it right,

    • Abusers will always find a way to blame the victim. Sometimes humor can be used to fight back. Usually the best response is withdrawal, but we still end up feeling guilty. Just when we think it’s over the pattern starts up again… and the cycle continues.

      If you’re a victim of this don’t worry about repentance. Forgiveness maybe… but if you can move on, do. Loving yourself, and personal forgiveness, is the first step. You can try to ask for help. Another perspective may help to make things right. Sometimes, if you can, you just have to go… and don’t look back. Leave them to their personal hell… and stop dragging you into it. Some people refuse to change. ❤

      • I am trying to do that now..move on forgive others self etc and it is truly so so so so so HARD! I prefer to forget and just be innocent again… is that a trap too? im disturbed by a Bible verse about the woman going through severe torments and the one controlling the situation says “I will make her forget and she will go out all happy and singing again”
        its in the forgetting that she returned to her former happy self…even the abusers might want it to be forgotten so they also can move on
        if you’ve wronged someone you don’t want them to remember it!!! im talking a true amnesia here…not a forgiveness per se…its been on my mind a lot. true joy comes with clean slates even in the memory department.. even if forgiven and friendly with a person.. the past still looms and always will… but memory wipe well that’s!!?? peace gift? for them as well as you.

        • Well, forgetting is why we’ve incarnated here in the first place. Basically, we’re here to forget EVERYTHING and that we are a part of “EVERYTHING”, so what we’re mostly left with is our experiences in this lifetime. It’s a pretty nice deal! 🙂

          In this lifetime, we need to remember so that we can learn. Those who forget their past are doomed to repeat it. Still, there’s nothing wrong with getting back to a place where you feel normal and happy. This doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. It means you need to LIVE. How you do this is to let go of the experiences that no longer serve your current existence. Don’t give any energy to things you don’t benefit from personally. Live “now” – you are the sum of all your experience, and that is a beautiful thing. This sounds like being selfish, but it’s not. Look after yourself first, so you can be prepared to look after others.

          I imagined being a samurai and “virtually” cutting the threads that connect that event to me, one at a time, so that I’m no longer connected to it. Or, a quilter with a pair of scissors – there are lots of ways of approaching this kind of an exercise. You do this until you no longer feel “weighed down” by these experiences.

          Good luck!

              • have any of you learned of scientology? I just did and I had no idea they believe in “Thetans” beings that occupy all of us and are responsible for all of our feelings.. than what is the “us”? in scientology they seek to expel them as parasites.,….. they were thrown in the volcano by an evil overlord named Xenu…. (lake of fire.. where the worm dies not?) after that they didn’t die it says he brainwashed them to earths customs… in a giant movie theatre… then they occupied humans…..he did so when the population was too high…. (176 billion on many planets) ….

                  • what is the white and black referring to? like clear and precise or ..opposites or? yeah I avoid it.. I have been studying it online ever since Leah Remini left and just 3 days ago she did an interview about it for 20/20.. she was in for 30 years.. I always loved her on king of queens…………….

  4. I feel the same. looking for ways to cope and yet I don’t want to cope because that feels like giving in or numbness or denial…. rather phone home, missing home.. is important enough to be first….denying it is all energy sapping.. and further injures.. im at a loss.

      • true and lovely saying… I feel a bad feeling in it though like a mistake in time or a “cut off” this weird uneasy feeling the whole world has now… I just cannot believe it though…but the after effects of it are obvious.. it has been done (a cut off) a severing of a lifeline of communication or something I cannot name.. for all intents and purposes it happened !and we pick up the pieces….for me it HAS TO BE THE “SAME” as “BEFORE” as the whole point and lesson.. not a new thing… so I sit stagnating.. in an unbudgeable position..

        • Another perspective is that the training wheels have come off. We’ll be unstable for awhile yet. We still want mum and dad to run along behind us. Well, we look behind and they’re not there, so we fall because we’re looking back.

          It does mean it’s awfully quiet out there, but it doesn’t prevent us from helping each other out when needed. And it’s helpful to remember that even though they’re being quiet, really they’re just hiding behind the bushes, just out of sight.

          • lovely! as far as mum and dad go I still expect and await those screams and shouts of reunion.I need that.. you picked a good metaphor as I feel I still want to be a kid.. or still am not just want….many bible verses speak of sudden screams and shouts of glee.. as they couldn’t be held back. even supernaturally they (the shouts) came about!!! I feel that too!!! training wheels off I cried in the corner for so long… time to make them proud only so long as I know ill get that reunion ,yes eerily quiet….

        • Remember that time is an illusion. Everything is happening at this moment, and has (also) already happened. Nothing to worry about. The worst has already happened and we are still here. Let go and watch. Offer whatever help you can and let it be. ❤

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