I feel it’s time to break the silence here. Who am I, you may wonder? I changed my name to what it’s been elsewhere. Both to avoid confusion and perhaps to discard an old persona. Online you can be anyone, you can put on a role like a suit. This suit really fits better, I feel.
Let’s see if this is a topic of interest. Perhaps it will become a series of posts.
I used to present myself as an openminded skeptic. How am I even here? Because I’m openminded. It sounds good.
Lately I’ve had to re-evaluate this stance. Maybe this is just something I said to fit in? I don’t feel openminded. Maybe I am really both narrowminded and a skeptic. I tend to not believe in anything I haven’t experienced. So how am I here?
I want to believe, like Mulder in the X-files. But not only that. I found that my mind does not care about if something is “genuine” or not. I can choose to believe. As an experiment. It’s not fake belief. I see people believe in something, it looks interesting, they seem to do and learn things I can’t, all because they believe. So I learned – I can’t tell how – but I can decide to believe in something, and then go from there. It’s a very useful skill. It’s not mere intellectual entertaining of ideas, it’s a real belief. Sometimes a belief is not beneficial at all. Then I can choose to discard it. Maybe what I’m writing here now will make someone upset. Does this mean belief is fake? Am I lowering the value of belief by saying this?
I don’t think so. Is love fake if you intentionally seek it? Should we stop trying to find love? What if we could all decide to love something or someone at will, wouldn’t that be better? What makes something genuine?
At one point, I decided that the quality of something is more important than its process of formation.
That’s how I am here. I wanted to believe that this is real, I followed the instructions for boarding a galactic lightship, and the following night I had a new dream experience. Seeing how something you did actually had an effect, is a common way to reinforce belief. By that time it would be genuine, no matter how it came about.
So many things have shown themselves since. But not once, when I look back, has it really made me believe in anything. I’ve read about the Galactic Federation. Nonsense, I thought. At one point I was suddenly contacted over telepathy. The message was very mentally intrusive, complete with visuals. A boring looking man in a white shirt and dark pants was standing before a whiteboard. He said “Look closely, I’m going to show you something.” He did, I memorized the message, which included diagrams I did not understand. I knew the message was meant to be posted on here, so I did so. Dreamwalker444 could fully understand its meaning. I still had no idea who the man contacting me was.
Now, years later I’ve had to simply conclude that yes, there is a Galactic Federation, that man was them. It must have changed my worldview, I feel like it should have, but I don’t feel amazed. I can’t say I find this realization very interesting. Some things fell in place, and I now know other people probably weren’t talking nonsense.
Is this a boring post?
Maybe someone finds this interesting. If so, there may be more parts to this story.
~ Until next time
Hi, Ark! Well, over a year later I find a few moments to check in on STC, and apologize for having missed you. I set the comment lockout to its max (I think it’s 9999 months now) and I’m glad I saw Dreamwalker’s reply to clue me into the problem. Whew. You’re on point. It’s been a painful few years. I’ll share my slice of the drama – or lack thereof. Wishing you well!