Immigration rollercoaster to Belgium

I am Arachanaï

It’s been a long time since I’ve written on this blog, mostly because of being incapacitated by my chronic illness. With my newly bought laptop, I decided to pick up where I left off.

I don’t know where to begin. A few months ago, in April, I was still living and working in South Africa. The decision to move back to Belgium wasn’t taken lightly. But when we finally did, we didn’t know what we got ourselves into. Justify saying it was a lot of work, with its own set of problems. But on the 26th of May 2022, I landed with my family on Belgium soil. Now a new adventure awaits us.

My spiritual journey in South Africa was incredible, but due to the sheer amount of volume, it will take a while to talk about it and write out the transcripts. From…

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dreamflight 15 october 2022

My first attempt at reviving the habit of Saturday night “dreamflights.”
Please let me know if you went on a dreamflight – thanks!

leslee hare

image generation by MidJourney AI on behalf of Leslee Hare 18 oct 2022

So, last Saturday night as I fell asleep I made the request to meet with friends during dream time, hopefully aboard a “galactic lightship.” (I imagine that when one appears to my waking eyes I’ll feel better about choosing a label for these phenomena.) When I awoke on Sunday morning I had forgotten about it, but by early afternoon I suddenly recalled – although it’s a hazy recollection – the dream I’ll share below.

I was riding my bicycle through a neighborhood. I was anxious to get somewhere on time and kept having difficulty moving forward. When I stopped my bicycle in frustration (and because people were grumbling and shuffling to get around me) I discovered both tires were flat. I remember muttering a string of profanities under my breath but have no idea how I arrived…

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wondering if i can still dream

In case y’all wanna meet tonight…

leslee hare

I’m tired of writing about Autism, so I’m going to experiment tonight. Half-heartedly. I’m a bit tired today, but we’ll see what happens.

In early 2012, a group of friends and I started logging dream synchronicities which we call “Dreamflights” on a site named Spirit Train Chronicles.

I had started the STC site because we had all originally met on another site that had been shut down. We thought it was a temporary stop-gap measure until the other site got back up and running, but things took off. Wanting to continue the experiment we’d begun, we aimed both to see if we could meet up during dreams, and also if we could find ourselves on what we called (still call) Galactic Ships.

You see, although we’re scattered around the globe (US & Canada but also China, Ukraine, South Africa, Europe… we collected 196 flags on the STC site), we…

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Anybody Out There?

I am. But I’ve been hiding, in a way.

Are you guys as exhausted and burned out as me? I expect I’ll hear and feel more than a few “yes”s.

Spirit Train Chronicles has always been a space where we can be honest with each other. I’m tired of not writing unless I can find something positive to say. I’ve decided it’s okay to complain and overshare – if that helps me get myself off the ground.

And I confess: the ordinary life has sucked me in for too many years now. I’d love to see this community reawaken – but I can’t even promise I’ll have the energy to follow along and comment. Or post regularly.

It’s a full-on burnout right now. I have no wondrous news, exciting ideas, channeled info, or interesting artwork to share. When I find the time to write, I don’t even know where to post it.

(BTW, I’m on FB and trying to use my Leslee Hare Author Artist page, so please connect with me there if you like)

I’m going to share a bullet list. If any of these resonate with you, let’s start there:

  • I left Atlanta in 2019 for Sweet Home Alabama. Hah.
  • Been caregiving for my Mom, pretty much most-time since late 2020, when
  • I lost a job I’d had high hopes for.
  • I had to sign an NDA to get severance pay for it, so I can’t share much about how the pandemic turned it into a nightmare.
  • But I learned that, at least in Alabama, there’s no recourse for bullying in the workplace, and
  • There’s no recourse for claiming discrimination if you don’t fall into one of the six protected categories. Autism isn’t one of them. Accommodations don’t exist in corporate business models.
  • I had another mental health hospitalization because panic attacks were a new thing to me, and depression and SI jumped on that gravy train.
  • That foray inspired me to apply for Disability benefits and awakened me to the impacts of my concussions and Autism (I had only received a diagnosis two years earlier, and was pretending it didn’t matter.)
  • I faced two years of waiting for approval, but that day came. Thank all the positive powers. I will never have to go through professional hell again.
  • Then, Mom’s house sprung a leak which forced us to move.
  • She entered a retirement facility, and I moved into a small apartment downtown.
  • It took us painful months of sweat and tears (and blood from the cat scratches) to empty the house and get it on the market. We basically did 3 house moves simultaneously. It’s a wonder my siblings and I are still speaking.
  • The house sold quickly. Fortunately, to a family that fully appreciates the amazing garden my family created from naught but red clay and a few pine trees over the span of 18 years.
  • But we still have 5 storage areas of Mom’s stuff to sort through. At some point. The woman loves things.
  • At the end of July, Mom took a fall and broke a kneecap and an ankle. Compounded by her Spinal Muscle Atrophy and three bed-bound weeks during rehab, all of our routines dissolved.
  • My brother adopted my cat Sylvie because I was freaking out over neglecting her. I feel guilty for not missing her.
  • But I’ve discovered that Betta fish are soothing and much easier to care for.
  • Tonight is the second night in two months that I have slept in my own home, and only the 12th night I’ve slept in a bed.
  • My arthritis progresses. Other ailments are still somewhat controllable – if I rest 3 days a week. On a good day, my pain’s around a 4/10. Most days it’s closer to 6 or 7. Except for my feet and hips, which often hit an 8. I use dual canes instead of narcotics, but CBD and whisky help tremendously.
  • I haven’t had time or energy for old friends, new friends, or social media, so I feel completely out of touch.
  • Mom has reached a level of independence such that I feel I can reclaim some free time once more, and I don’t know where to start.
  • I’ve neglected artwork and writing, for the most part.
  • I’ve begun watching American football because it makes Mom happy. It’s hard to write while watching football.
  • I discovered that mindless games on my phone were the most immediate relief I could afford when free time is parsed out in 15-minute intervals.

So, I’ve felt like a Sheeple for a good five years now. That’s been my ordinary world.

In Spiritual terms, here’s another bullet list:

  • Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about how wonderful those super-fertile years of Spirit Train Chronicles were. Magical.
  • I still keep a terrific Buddhist library, but so much of what I see online rings of faux-Buddhism that I’ve lost interest in Eastern imports. We’re in a different age now.
  • I think about the ships, and all those beings I connected with. I know they’re still there. But I no longer have large enough chunks of time to devote to those connections. I don’t think “they” have given up on me, but I can’t reach them right now.
  • I sat down the night before last with a pendulum for the first time in over a year. The energetic swinging kicked right in, but I nearly threw the damn thing across the room. I didn’t want to ” hear” what anybody had to say because it all sounds like BS to me while I’m in this mood.
  • On one hand, I want to beg the forgiveness of somebody(s); on the other hand, I feel like tossing the “script” to Hollywood and the independent sensationalist filmmakers and letting them run with it. At least they’re starting to get to the meat of things, in their cinematographic way.
  • This week I’ve decided that posting on the Internet is the best way for me to try to get my groove back. I’m afraid it may take a while.
  • I am determined to FINALLY publish All About Enlightenment. I may even publish all four or five versions. But I’m not shooting for that in 2022.

So, there. I’ve outed all of the personal complaints, obstacles, and trepidations I can think of tonight, that have held me back from venturing online.

If this post inspires you to raise some energy, join in. Tell us – in REAL terms – what’s been going on for you. If you can do it safely. We may find it’s the best way to clear some of the heaviness lurking in the ether. I sure hope I’ve adjusted the settings to send me quick notifications. Please forgive me if it takes me a few days or a week to circle back.

Sending blessings to all of us.

Much love, Leslee