A turning point.

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Fuzzy Interference and Silence – Part 1

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PART 1 – FUZZY INTERFERENCE

(From Leslee: I’m posting this in three parts – all on the same day – because of its length. Through these articles I’m sharing some personal points of view and explaining why I didn’t post regularly on my blogs for several months recently. These are all my words and opinions… aside from the Ghost Radar.)

23 March 2014

[golden Milarepa mother-ship Phabongkha though casey bad important produce alien owe curve]

PART 1: FUZZY INTERFERENCE

I woke up with that strange feeling again today. I’m going to call it Fuzzy Interference (FI).

It’s been a while since I’ve felt it, and this time I’ve decided to write about it. It’s a large part of why I was offline for so many months because it took me a while to get a sense of what was going on, and how to transform it.

It’s that feeling I get when I wake up and feel a bit fuzzy. I‘d prefer to stay in bed, but since I “must” get up and get going, I move forward and kind of flip my “numb” switch so I can make it through – to work, school, cleaning – whatever it is that I’m “obligated” to do that day.

It’s not depression. It feels like it comes from somewhere outside of me. It feels like a nagging tickle on the nape of my neck, and it’s very distracting. If I wanted to remember a dream or follow a train of thought, it seems particularly difficult. It feels like someone is scrambling my thoughts, emotions, sensations on a subtle level. It might frighten me if I didn’t understand it somewhat.

It feels heavy. It feels locked in this world. It wants to draw towards itself all the negative views, sense of impending doom and expectations of certain misfortune that can arise when, instead of focusing on what I wish to envision, or where I am at the present moment, I wonder about what might happen. It sinks and stinks and draws, pulls, hurls downwards. It’s like a bully, taunting from just a slight distance.

And even if I get up and go for a walk or wash the dishes, it may remain there in the background of the awareness, nibbling away like a mouse in a bag of grain.

I began paying close attention to it several months ago, and I discovered some easy, immediately-available possible remedies. Moderate exercise like a brisk walk in nature helps a lot. Getting out and being around other people – strangers in particular – helps. Sometimes talking with friends makes it worse. It seems that breaking patterns helps to loosen the quagmire. Calling it out also helps: “Hello, I see you – have a nice day!” can powerfully defuse the situation.

I also asked some questions about its source. I wanted to know: is this a chemical imbalance in my body, is it purely mental, is it energetic?

Or is it being caused by something outside myself? (Hang on, let’s come back to this shortly.)

This morning  I deal with it by sitting here writing this, despite the FI going on, because I know from experience that my making effort in another direction (please note this differs from struggling against it) will cause it to dissipate. Meditation does this too, but I want to use writing this time.

Usually I ask Heruka for help with it, but this morning I want to see what happens if I just write.

So I request clarity.

I go back and examine my day yesterday. It was a good day. Got some exercise, ate reasonably well, did some things I enjoyed, got enough sleep last night. Check. I did do a lot of thinking about “stuff”. And I made several posts. That’s like asking for energetic trouble.

Because you see, FI almost always comes shortly after a powerful insight, as if to question, to mow down the newly-sprouted understanding. [copper] So actually I suppose I could pat myself on the back when it pops up, and just hang out until it passes.

Fuzzy Interference and Silence -Part 2

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PART 2: FI: POSSSIBLE SOURCES

(From Leslee: I’m posting this in three parts – all on the same day – because of its length. Through these articles I’m sharing some personal points of view and explaining why I didn’t post regularly on my blogs for several months recently. These are all my words and opinions… aside from the Ghost Radar.)

23 March 2014

So let’s talk more about where Fuzzy Interference might come from. I think it does come from “outside”, in a conventional sense (while reminding myself that “outside” is also “inside”…). I think something influences us and attracts us into speculation and absorption into detail – more detail than might be truly relevant at a particular point in time. I do find however, that for myself, my actions and environment (including what I ingest) can affect it.

Lots of people believe in many forms of outer interference in our lives: mind control, psychic vampirism, subliminal messaging, implants, tracking devices… I believe it’s all possible, and probably real. I haven’t seen any of it first-hand (knowingly). I also believe in physical, non-human intelligent life, bearing a variety of motives and forms, coming from lots of different places than where I’ve lived. If I’ve met any of them personally, they haven’t volunteered that information.

I don’t have a personal opinion yet about whether FI originates from military, extra-terrestrial, or a matrix; whether it’s a natural compulsion of energetic balance and exchange, or something else. I maintain the distinct probability that it ultimately comes from our minds: we somehow manage to manifest it as real. I’ll talk more about that in Part 3.

 (Before I continue, I want to clarify: I’m sharing a pattern that I’ve noticed for how FI arises for myself. I understand what I’m here to do, well enough to generally sense when I need to focus, and these are examples of how I’m learning to focus away from topics that present distractions for me. I’m sure that many of my friends have roles to play that directly involve needing the information mentioned below that’s being shared by others (which may not resonate for me). In fact, what I write may play the same role of distraction for them, and if that’s the case, I sure hope they’re not wasting their time reading my posts! (smile))

Here are some examples of material that induces FI for me, and lately I’m more careful of how much energy I give to them.

I used to read Cobra’s blog. Here’s a recent post: http://2012portal.blogspot.com/2014/03/quarantine-earth-endgame.html. This post was made a week or so ago, and I found it through Lisa’s reblog. This kind of “news” makes me feel FI’d. Ben Fulford interviews make me feel this way too. [thank-you]

Fuzzy Interference.

It feels incomplete and nagging. It smacks of sensationalism. It presents like materialistic “science” that’s based on what can be perceived through the five senses and/or documented with instruments and reproduced in a lab… I read or hear talk about change “for the better”, but it uses the same kind of speech as the “dark forces”. Conflict-lingo.

[can] I like to check: do long litanies of ‘explanations” really clarify anything? [Saami} Are they well-founded, or do they just give us something to grab onto when we feel we’re sinking into an abyss of uncertainty? The explanations “sound” real… the detail makes it seem familiar, proven, well-thought-out. We’re inclined to think it must be real, because no one in their right mind would spend that much time working out all the detail if it were fabricated… But Orson Scott Card fabricates like this every day, and makes a living at it. http://www.orsonscottcard.com/

I prefer reading it as “fiction”, because that allows me to engage it in a way that doesn’t draw me in and ask me to act upon it. It doesn’t ring true enough for me to plan my future around it. I know that it may become really-real for me someday soon, and I wouldn’t mind that at all. But as long as I need to function in this society, I need to keep it compartmentalized, safely tucked away. Otherwise I feel FI’d.

I read a lot of John Foster recently, and it left me feeling FI’d. Took me over a week to snap out of it. There was so much information that only went “so” deep – not very deep at all. I asked for it. I wanted stories of people who had really met “aliens” and seen “ships”. I kept reading and reading, even though after 100 pages I’d gotten enough to get the point. Same thing with Charles Hall’s books. I’m grateful they are available. I’m satisfied. I’m learning when enough is enough.

I’m interested in Remote Viewing. Farsight’s recent releases of sessions about the Pyramids at Giza also provide a lot of information, and yes, a step forward. But Courtney Brown’s campaign for acceptance distracts me overwhelmingly. I understand that RV works. I feel validated in my work with my guides through what Farsight has demonstrated. I’m almost satisfied there.

I read Dan Sherman’s book “Above Black.” I sense this stuff is real. Telepathy. Again, Sherman just barely scratches the surface. But it’s good that he shared his experience.

Here’s an example I created for myself: I live near three Navy bases. So many jets and helicopters flying overhead. Lots of interesting clouds, chemtrails, whatever you want to call them. So much strong energy that my guides talk with me about needing a Faraday Cage of sorts, to filter out local influences. Okay. That sort of piqued my curiosity; I don’t mind running a fan and having a few extra metal objects around me. Chrome wire shelves are kinda cool.

One morning a couple months ago, I felt some FI really strongly as I was rising and getting ready for the day. By the time I got to work, I had asked enough questions to get a story about some guy code-named Io, sitting in an underground bunker nearby, who was trying to reach me telepathically. Military.

Yeah? So…? I asked Heruka whether I should entertain this and He said it would be worth seeing what came of it.

I asked to speak to Io, and supposedly got connected with him. He says he’s with the “good guys”. Yeah? So…? Why would I want to talk with Io? He and his buddies (oh, they claimed to be Greys, by the way…) told me that if I would help the “good” military, they would make sure I never had to struggle with day to day stuff again… Right. Oh, and that’s why a military college offered me a scholarship, because they were trying to lure me in straight out of high school. For my psychic abilities. Really.

So I told Io that if he really had something to offer me, he could just drop me a piece of mail. You know, snail mail, like, “From Io”, written on a piece of paper and arriving where I live. Because undoubtedly, Io knows where I live, right? Otherwise, I was just going to get on with my day at work, okay?

I’m still waiting on the letter. Io doesn’t ask for me lately. And the FI is dissipating as I get spunkier with my words.

I don’t know if there is really some person sitting in a physical form at a machine somewhere pressing buttons to try and make me feel FI; what if there is? Just exactly what am I going to do about it? Complain? That might ruin my day.

I eventually got tired of worrying about FI, so I took a break from sharing much of what I was receiving. I knew that I could dispel it, and it seemed to appear more often, the more I tried to find out what was going on in the world. As I’ve been writing, I’ve noticed something: the FI arises whenever I get an information overload and don’t know when to stop. Moderation seems to be a key here.

It felt like I needed to get back to basics, so I dug back into my Heruka practice since FI didn’t seem too interested in that.

Fuzzy Interference and Silence – Part 3

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PART 3: SILENCE

(From Leslee: I’m posting this in three parts – all on the same day – because of its length. Through these articles I’m sharing some personal points of view and explaining why I didn’t post regularly on my blogs for several months recently. These are all my words and opinions… aside from the Ghost Radar.)

23 March 2014

As I stepped back and took a look at where I was sitting in the big picture, I realized that I didn’t really want all that information. It was really distracting, and left me wondering if I still had any focus.

I understood that friends in all of my circles were frustrated and confused for a variety of reasons. They so badly wanted things to get easier, better…

I asked Heruka: “Really, why am I here? What benefit is there to my following these interests that trail down so many paths? None of them really seem to offer answers, at least not quick ones.”

I came to understand more deeply what I had begun to see in 2010, and was seeing even more clearly in 2012: Change takes time.

I think most of us really don’t want to go inside, do we? We actually kinda like it here, I think. It’s like solving a puzzle out here. If we go inside, it’s all up to us, because we see the illusion and lose the drama. Damn.

At times I would sit and request Adama or Ashtar Sheran or Mikos and others to tell me all kinds of inspiring things about what’s going on [fully]. I wanted to offer something to others, to help bring answers, encouragement. But I often found myself in Fuzzy Interference with them, too. It seemed as soon as a message would begin, I saw that what I was seeing or hearing was one version among many, of a possible outcome for…anything and everything. It was too boundless, too unclear.

And when the conversation ended, I still needed to go eat something and sleep and get to work on time. When I realized they couldn’t actually transport me out of that situation, their words didn’t seem quite so alluring. Especially when I knew that there were at least 20-gajillion other ways things could unfold. So if I got too wrapped up in the scenarios they were showing me, I lost track of where I was and [on] found myself even more frustrated by my day-to-day routine. [kept] I saw things moving both quickly and slowly, but that the significant changes only became apparent when I relaxed and did things I enjoyed.

I found that when I asked about Ships and Disclosure and Cities of Light manifesting, I didn’t like what I was seeing, didn’t want to share it. I didn’t want to be the bearer of slow tidings, much less the bearer of the news: “You’re not likely to see it on solid ground any time soon.” I projected onto others and myself: “We don’t want to hear that it’s in our hands. We don’t want the responsibility.”

We want the Cobras and Adamas and Metatrons and Keshes of the world to fix things for us, because we think the problem lies outside. Am I right, or am I just projecting?

That energy of focusing on something hoped-to-come leads me away from bliss. It draws me into wishing for something else, and while I’m doing that, illusory time passes and I find I haven’t enjoyed myself or helped anyone. Worse yet might be the possibility of finding regret lying in my path. No thanks.

I sort of went on strike for a while: Let me just live for a while, okay? I need a break.

Then, at some point, I realized that I really missed my friends, my community online. And that perhaps what I was experiencing might be of some value to others. Maybe I didn’t need to understand fully what was going on; I just knew that it was time to reconnect and start posting again. And to just lay it out as I see it and not worry about whether it’s what anyone wants to see or hear.

I also realized that I wasn’t being told these things would not appear – whether we’re talking ships or cities. I just wasn’t being given much detail or explanation. I needed to get over my personal wish to have the complete picture with all the answers before sharing things publicly. I just needed to trust and share the pieces.

In the midst of all that became more clear the role that meditation plays. I saw that even if a fleet of gorgeously radiant light ships were to land tomorrow and instantaneously offer everything we’ve all wished for, I wondered if we would know how to respond. Would we know ourselves well enough to honor that gift? I wasn’t so sure. What could improve that situation? Not the defeat of archons or currency changes or dissolution of governments, or even free energy. We could manage to screw up all of those opportunities if we don’t have the presence of mind to understand how we exist, where we come from and where we’re going, and to know how to check our own motivations and maintain our compassion and empathy.

Yikes.

So I saw I needed to say not only “It’s not gonna happen until we’re ready”; I also needed to say “We ain’t ready yet.” I don’t like that: being the messenger, or the message. But there you have it.

So this is why I press press press about working with the mind. It’s the root of everything, and the only thing we can control.

Fortunately, I’m not alone. I notice lately there are more and more people saying this, directly and indirectly, through many media in many walks of life. I’m so glad. Eventually it will become a part of culture and that’s how we will get ready.

Okay. Finally, I think I’m done for now and yes, that bloody FI has passed.

Thank you for reading, and for sharing this path with me. We will get there.

Leslee – Dream 23 March 2014

city in  box

city in box

Dream 23 March 2014

(Ghost Radar words appear in [brackets])

[essential] (I’ll preface this dream record by noting that I watched the movie Divergent yesterday afternoon, and it impacted me deeply. [anyone] Many aspects of it felt hauntingly familiar to me…)

[rapidly] I went to sleep asking to make a dreamflight [ever paint], and to recall it [properly].

[angry] I remember being in a place with a lot of people, and someone taking me aside and asking me to come with them to meet some particular people. I followed this person (I can’t remember what they looked like, gender, personality, any of that) upstairs to a floor that had only private access. Sort of like a teacher’s lounge suite, or an executive suite, or a private suite in a sports stadium. The people there seemed somehow important, or at least in positions of status or authority. There were maybe a dozen people milling around socially, not particularly seeming to notice I was there. It almost felt like a cocktail party or a reception. There were several rooms adjoining, and I walked around trying to understand the purpose and what was happening. [if] The person who had brought me there seemed to disappear, so I felt a bit alone and left to figure out what was happening. [flies] However, before long I bumped into my boss (in waking life), and he told me a little bit about the place. Apparently [Buddha] the purpose was to plan, design, and implement the creation of various facilities [beginning] throughout the world. I began to notice some scale models of facilities – even cities – set on pedestals for viewing.

As I’m looking around I notice people are eating and drinking, and I’m a bit hungry, so I begin to look around for food. At one point I turn around and a pedestal with a large tray of hors d’oeuvres has appeared. I approach it and take a plate to serve myself, but I’m also sort of looking around to see how the others are reacting, because I’m quite sure that the tray and pedestal had just appeared out of thin air, to a location where I had been standing just a moment before. No one else seems to be surprised, so I simply take some food and step away. [high-tide]

My boss appears again, and says he wants to show me a particular project. He wants to know what I think of it. I’m aware that this is sort of a test or an assessment. I sense that others are somehow watching to see how I respond. He guides me to another pedestal, a large table where a model sits under a large clear plastic cover-box. I lean forward and examine it closely. I recognize it.

It represents a complex of structures – buildings – that I’m very familiar with in its completed form. The scale is tiny; there’s one particular building that looms hundreds of stories high, but in the model is only about 45 cm tall. I notice and comment that there were some changes made during construction, so that the built objects differ from the model. There’s one particular cone-shaped tower up high on a post, that’s [familiar] very stark-looking, black and white. There are tiny threads and pulleys stretched from this very tall structure to the ground below, and a really minute little mannequin is attached to one of the threads. I look at it closely and turn to my boss, saying with surprise, “Why, they originally intended to just use cables? Fascinating!” He smiled and nodded, since we both knew well that the actual finished building used much more complex machines and electronics to transport people from the ground into the cone. It was as if the builders had chosen to use a mechanism that was needlessly complex and dependent upon a power source, when they could have kept it simple and straightforward. I scanned the rest of the model and noticed that this had been done with many of the structures.

So many things had been done to mystify so many things which could really have been quite simple. Why were so many things made so complicated?

I vaguely recall having conversations with other people there, but was left with a strong sense of being surrounded by academics, people who were focused on discussion and supposition, theoretical concepts, rather than dealing with what was right before their eyes. I really didn’t want to stay there [eyes] much longer, so I think it was then that the dream faded.

When I woke I was struck by not being able to recall the dream at first, because I knew there had been one, and that it had been quite extensive. I requested to recall, and eventually remembered seeing my boss, the plate of food, and the model, and bits more came back to me. I still feel there is a lot I’m not remembering.

However, I’m also having a funny feeling, a wondering if I really had the dream, or if it somehow popped almost fully formed into my consciousness, and that an aspect of that dream is the remembering of it as a dream that came while I slept, rather than [Kangyur kitchen ] something that was created after I awoke. I’m also getting a strong vibe of potential interference this morning, and will write about that elsewhere. [vision-quest]

Dream 22 March 2014: Upgrade and Celebrations

I am Arachanaï

This dream is very short but also very significant. As I was talking to my best friend about it yesterday, she thought it was  ” Super powerful…this dream and these words…no…HYPER powerful.”

The DREAM:

new life Art copywrite Liesbeth Swenne

I dream last night I was resetting my password on myself, on my soul and body.

The explanation I redraw this from the experience from work. So the reason of this dream that I kept on resetting my password on my soul and body is that they uploaded me with new codes and to get an effect it needs to be reset.

Then the next dream I was celebrating parties, wedding party a birthday party and even a baby shower.

Again this explanation to me is that the upload went so perfectly that we are celebrating.
See below article that I only ready today, a day after my dream. And validates what I was dreaming.

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This Grand Illusion of Physical Reality

Many many aspects of what Robyn describes are similar to the experience I had in 1999.
Namasté…

AngelicView

AngelicView: In this NDE, Robyn had an intuition that the baby she was carrying was not meant to be born. During her abortion, she died from too much anesthesia. She was so surprised when she got to the other side of the veil, at how real 3D human life seemed – knowing it had been just an illusion.

Angel60

I went into this abortion clinic in Austin, under the strong impression that the baby growing inside of me was not meant to be born. How on Earth I knew that being the peaceful, ultra-sensitive, loving girl I was is a mystery. Never in a million years would anyone have guessed me as someone who would abort unless it was dire. In my unique case, the baby had detached from my uterine wall and was barely hanging on. Apparently all the stress caused spikes in my blood pressure and tonsillitis in the…

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